Post your Missouri jokes here

[TheEvilBeak]

Pickel and Bogger were gameplanning for Nebraska when Pickel thought it would be more effective by playing beer football as a sort of a hands on virtual reality type game.

 

Pickel tells Booger, I'm Nebraska, you be Mizzery. I call a defense and then you call a play that will produce a touchdown. If it is the correct call, you get a touchdown and have to guzzle a beer for the 6 points and turn around a rip a good one for the extra point. Boogy agrees, great idea. "hey Coach Pickel, you can then call a neb play and I will call a defense. Deal says Pickel.

 

Pickel, starts and calls a Defense, Boogy calls the correct play...TD! Guzzle Guzzle, drops 'em, turns and rips one...7-0.

 

Pickel calls a Neb play and Boogy, offensive genius that he is, calls the wrong D. TD-Pickel. Guzzle, guzzle, RRIIIPPPP. 7-7.

 

Each score again. Guzzle guzzle, Rip Rip. Pickel calls another defense. Boogy calls the correct play...guzzle, guzzle...RIIIPPPP

21-14 but Boogy is gett'n tipsy. Figures he HAS to make a play. MAKE A PLAY DAMMIT.

 

Pickel calls a play, again, the offensive genius misses the correct D.

 

21-20 Boogy, Pickel slams down a beer for 6, turns around to rip one for the point after and Boogy makes the correct call....

 

As he mounts Pickel he chants...BLOCK THAT KICK!! BLOCK THAT KICK!! BLOCK THAT KICK!!

[Jeremy]

Missing sock joke - best of all time.

Notice the 'M.'

 

 

 

 

 

 

RedMan - Official Sponsor of Mizzourah Foos Ball.

[SaturnDrew]

I Recall meeting coach Osborne. I played at Mizzou 1983-86. We played in Lincoln in 84 (lost 33-23). After the game, coach Osborne came into our locker room, shook all our hands, said some kind words. We were waiting to leave, one of the busses that was chartered had broken down and we were told it could be several hours before they could get a replacement. We were pissed that we lost, we were starving and didn't want to sit around Memorial stadium several more hours. About 45 minutes later, coach Osborne came back in, told us to follow him, he led us to our one running buss and there were a bunch of people out in cars that we were supposed to get into. They drove us to some dining hall and had food catered to us. Then drove us back to our departure spot where they had another buss ready for us. Come to find out after we got back to CoMo at our team meeting the next morning, the people in the cars were asst coaches and athletic dept personnel. We found out that Coach Osborne had called some restaurant and ordered the food and paid for it out of his own pocket. The time he spent dealing with us I am told he had postponed a media meeting to make sure we were taken care of. I have nothing at all bad to say about him. That was pure class if you ask me.

 

Awesome story! Haven't seen you around the boards, but you sound like a Missouri fan who's actually knowledgeable about the game. Hope you stick around for a bit. You are a rarity! And I really do wish your Tigers good luck, but hope we can relive 1984 come next week! (score-wise, no buses breaking down)

[Bayside76]

what, no Nebraska jokes?

 

What does a 12 year old Nebraska girl say when she loses her virginity?

 

"Get off, Daddy! You're crushing my smokes!"

 

What does a 12 year old Missouri boy say when he loses his virginity?

 

"That'll do pig. That'll do."

[T_O_Bull]

Let's just face it, Missouri is a joke.

T_O_B

[T_O_Bull]

Missouri, a state named after the river that transports our poop to the ocean.

T_O_B

[Rep The 402]

Maybe it's because I'm born and raised in St. Louis, but I never understood the Missouri hicks comments. Sure, we have some farm folk, but I would say at least 50 to 60% of us come from MO's two major metropolitan areas (St. Louis and Kansas City) and two growing cities in Springfield and Cape Girardeau.

Im sorry but i live in Missouri, well 10 minutes away from it. If you've ever been too Irontin, or Desoto, then you will see why Missouri is a huge hick state.