Post your Missouri jokes here

[Husker Runner]

A Husker fan and a Tiger fan get into a bad car accident. Both cars are totally demolished, but miraculously, neither of the drivers are hurt.

 

After they crawl out of the mangled wreckage, the Tiger fan spots the Nebraska bumper sticker on the other car and says, "So, you're a Nebraska fan. That's interesting. I'm a Missouri fan. Look at our cars! There's nothing left, but thankfully we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that, despite your inferiority to us Tigers, we should be friends from now on."

 

The Husker replies," I agree with you completely; this must be a sign from God!"

 

The Husker fan continues, "And look at this - here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of whiskey didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this and celebrate our good fortune."

 

He hands the bottle to the Tiger fan, who nods his head in agreement, opens it and takes several big swigs from the bottle. He then hands it back to the Husker.

 

The Nebraska fan takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the Tiger.

 

Puzzled, the Missouri fan asks, "Aren't you having any?"

 

The Husker replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police."

[In the Deed the Glory]

A Husker fan and a Tiger fan get into a bad car accident. Both cars are totally demolished, but miraculously, neither of the drivers are hurt.

 

After they crawl out of the mangled wreckage, the Tiger fan spots the Nebraska bumper sticker on the other car and says, "So, you're a Nebraska fan. That's interesting. I'm a Missouri fan. Look at our cars! There's nothing left, but thankfully we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that, despite your inferiority to us Tigers, we should be friends from now on."

 

The Husker replies," I agree with you completely; this must be a sign from God!"

 

The Husker fan continues, "And look at this - here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of whiskey didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this and celebrate our good fortune."

 

He hands the bottle to the Tiger fan, who nods his head in agreement, opens it and takes several big swigs from the bottle. He then hands it back to the Husker.

 

The Nebraska fan takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the Tiger.

 

Puzzled, the Missouri fan asks, "Aren't you having any?"

 

The Husker replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police."

 

haha

[funhusker]

My mother always told me it was not nice to make fun of "special" people. Besides they probably wouldn't get the joke anyway:)

[killer cacti]

I went to Missouri in May and saw 8 pairs of overalls with no undershirt in the airport...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh, wait...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Where's the 'Post your Missouri true stories here' thread?

[holvy83]

I went to Missouri in May and saw 8 pairs of overalls with no undershirt in the airport...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh, wait...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Where's the 'Post your Missouri true stories here' thread?

 

[fro daddy]

I went to Missouri in May and saw 8 pairs of overalls with no undershirt in the airport...

 

 

Oh, wait...

 

 

Where's the 'Post your Missouri true stories here' thread?

 

I can laugh at NE residents calling MO hicks....But someone from SC??!!

 

I dont know whats funnier the fact that you actually posted a hick joke , or the fact that you had to go out and hand crank your generator to get that there typing box thing to turn on. By the way cactus, tell your mother...um...sister hello for me

 

GO c$%ks!!!!

[Huskers532]

hahahhaha, good story.

[Cy the Cyclone]

Why are there no Academic All-Americans playing for Mizzou?

 

Because there is no "A" in Missouri (though most of them try to put one in place of the second "i"...which is probably why "speech therapist" is such a hot major in Columbia)

 

Frankly...Missouri was created when Iowa farted.

[MizzouBob77]

Maybe it's because I'm born and raised in St. Louis, but I never understood the Missouri hicks comments. Sure, we have some farm folk, but I would say at least 50 to 60% of us come from MO's two major metropolitan areas (St. Louis and Kansas City) and two growing cities in Springfield and Cape Girardeau.

[MizzouBob77]

Why are there no Academic All-Americans playing for Mizzou?

 

Because there is no "A" in Missouri (though most of them try to put one in place of the second "i"...which is probably why "speech therapist" is such a hot major in Columbia)

 

Frankly...Missouri was created when Iowa farted.

 

 

The fact that anyone from Iowa is criticizing Missouri is comical.

[huskernumerouno]

Why are there no Academic All-Americans playing for Mizzou?

 

Because there is no "A" in Missouri (though most of them try to put one in place of the second "i"...which is probably why "speech therapist" is such a hot major in Columbia)

 

Frankly...Missouri was created when Iowa farted.

LMAO

[The Maudfather]

"Colt McCoy has such a great ass" -The Booger

[MizzouBob77]

"Colt McCoy has such a great ass" -The Booger

 

 

I would think that Nebraska fans would like to forget about Chase Daniel as quickly as possible... Considering the last two contests.

[MUTigerFan]

what, no Nebraska jokes?

 

What does a 12 year old Nebraska girl say when she loses her virginity?

 

"Get off, Daddy! You're crushing my smokes!"

[caveman99]

Maybe it's because I'm born and raised in St. Louis, but I never understood the Missouri hicks comments. Sure, we have some farm folk, but I would say at least 50 to 60% of us come from MO's two major metropolitan areas (St. Louis and Kansas City) and two growing cities in Springfield and Cape Girardeau.

Well I could tell you about those folks I saw in Southern Missouri in the store in just coveralls. No shirt and no shoes. Can't say as I ever recall seeing that in IA or NE.