Cy's Amazing Predictions - Week 4

[Cy the Cyclone]

That's right...it's Upset Weekend! The weekend where I go around angry all weekend because I have to work at the game on Saturday and then return home and spend the night at a local waterpark where my kid is having a birthday party with six other mouthy teen wanna-be punks and parents all look down at me because I spend most of the night cracking heads and cussing a lot because I'm stuck there all night. I plan on locking them all out in the hall and watching football all evening. Now, on to the games:

 

Central Florida at Kansas State - Though K-State showed they are not a ringtailed wow on the football field (any team that scores only 27 points and allows 20 to a pathetic Iowa State team is simply not that fearsome...or even very good), they should have enough at home to beat Central Florida. Playing another FBS team won't do a lot to enhance Bill Snyder's resume but since he's about 150 years old, I doubt he cares a whole hell of a lot. At his age, a bowel movement (or a victory over any FBS team...basically the same thing) is a reason to celebrate.

 

Winner - Kansas State

 

Miami Ohio at Missouri - This is the weekend when Gabbert's luck (and thus, Missouri's) runs out. Miami of Ohio is a pretty decent team who's only lose came against Va Tech. Missouri is not at good at Virginia Tech. Miami of Ohio players have a chip on their shoulder as most of them signed their letter of intent thinking they would be spending their college careers in sunny Florida only to be made sport of by the geek in English class who gleefully pointed out that they just signed their football lives away to a stupid state far away from beaches and bikinis. Missouri will be the geek in English class and Miami of Ohio will be giving them a super wedgie this weekend

 

Winner - Miami of Ohio

 

UCLA at Texas - This would have been a good game back when UCLA was good but now it's not going to be a very good game because UCLA isn't much good. UCLA can't pass...Texas can't run. Unfortunately for UCLA, Texas CAN defend the run pretty well while UCLA CANNOT defend the pass worth a lick. Actually UCLA can't defend much of anything except for their title of "The Other School In The State That Uses Initials Because California Is Too Hard To Spell" Texas is easy to spell except most people usually add an extra "s" to the end...but that's appropriate considering the people that live there.

 

Winner - Texas

 

Oklahoma at Cinncinnati - UCLA players would never be able to transfer here because Cinncinnati is lots harder to spell than California. Cinncinnati has more N's in their name than any other school in the NCAA...which would be known as the NNNNCAA if their offices were located in Cinncinnati, which they are not because no one who works for the NCAA could possibly spell it either. They have enough trouble with NCAA. Anyway...Cinncinnati is doing their part this year to save the nation's sports reporters from Carpel Tunnel Syndrome by being a flash in the pan last year who is now totally irrelevant to college football so no one will have to type their name anymore.

 

Winner - Oklahoma

 

New Mexico State at Kansas - At the beginning of the year, I would have said this was going to be a walk-over for Kansas but then the Canadians from North Dakota stormed in and embarrased Kansas more than when Mangino was caught moonlighting as a weight sled at the Kansas State Fair tractor pull. Seems maybe Kansas has things turned around now and since New Mexico State hasn't won a game since the Alamo, Turner should be able to pull a victory out against the only state more boring than the one his school is located in.

 

Winner - Kansas

 

South Dakota State at Nebraska - South Dakota doesn't have enough Canadians.

 

Winner - Nebraska

 

Northern Iowa at Iowa State - This weekend, Iowa State will solidify their position as the 3rd best football team in Iowa, only because they don't play Coe, Central or any of the other Iowa college teams that are probably better than they are. Northern Iowa has a history of success in football...Iowa State doesn't even have that to fall back on. But, Jack Trice Stadium is a great place for concerts so the administration is planning to take their cut of the Big 12 TV payout and bring in some big name acts like the Metallica and Rush to play on Saturdays instead of their regularly scheduled weekly humiliation.

 

Winner - Northern Iowa

 

Baylor at Rice - The Rice Baylor was invented in 1020 AD by a Vietnamese farmer who got tired of walking through soaking wet rice paddies to gather and bundle rice stalks. It saved the farmer a lot of time and revolutionized rice production throughout the Pacific Rim...and I made all that up because this game is just another one of those games where the respective teams have nothing better to do but go out and play football on Saturday in a half filled stadium because everyone in Texas is watching the real schools play on TV. Actually, attendance might be better this weekend because Texas Tech and Texas A&M aren't playing so the populace is pretty much stuck with this game.

 

Winner - Rice

 

That's it for this week...Oklahoma State will be playing A&M at Nose Pickens Stadium next Thursday so they got nothin this weekend. Colorado's pilot accidently took off heading west from Hawaii after spending the weekend partaking in some Maui Wowie while there and are now resting their heals on an airport tarmac in Uzebekistan until they're cleared by customs to take off again and Texas Tech is trying to locate Mike Leach so they can force him to tell them where he hid their offense.

[HuskerfaninOkieland]

As always Cy, wonderfully done!

 

[GM_Tood]

Two thumbs up!

[Lonestar_Husker]

I always look forward to Cy's predictions.

[RockyMountainOySker]

LMAO at the ISU and Missouri predictions. Good Stuff!

[Judoka]

Damn funny. Then again, anything less just wouldn't be Cy-like.

[ADS]

Northern Iowa should be ashamed for playing a team like ISU.

[holvy83]

Have a little faith Cy, I think ISU beats UNI, they played tough with KSU, they will get this one.

[Joe_5700]

great picks, but Cy, your disrespect to ISU frightens me.

[Cy the Cyclone]

great picks, but Cy, your disrespect to ISU frightens me.

 

Respect must be earned this year...and until we can come up with some D-linemen that weigh more than 180 lbs, respect is going to be hard to come by...

[HuskerinHouston]

Well done sir.

[GMoose]

Going out on a couple of limbs today, eh Cy?

[admo]

Come on man! ISU is not that bad! Had they made a few stops on Thomas they could have won that game.

 

I dont think Baylor is that bad either. Its just that TCU really IS THAT GOOD at home (almost went to the game)

 

Who do you like this weekend? Can you make me some Vega$ dollar$ for me? Its been a brutal year so far.. they keep taking mine b/c no one seems to do what you think they should do!

 

I feel the upset Saturday happening too.

[Ziebol]

SDSU doesn't have enough canadiens

[Saunders]

Miami of Ohio hasn't played VT. They played the gaytors in week 1.

 

http://espn.go.com/college-football/team/_/id/193/miami-oh-redhawks