Microaggression, Hypersensitivity, and victimhood culture?

[BigRedBuster]

Yeah btw, I think microagressions are a pretty stupid thing to be given macro attention, personally. My original "Jesus." comment was in regards to 84HuskerLaw, but not towards the opposition towards the American college move towards hypersensitivity, which I think has gone way further than it needs to be.

 

 

 

I'm all for being careful about the language I use. I'm also all for people having a backbone and being able to put up with others not catering to their wishes. The world isn't a safe space. Office environments after college aren't safe spaces. Those don't exist, and there's no need for them to exist in places that burden others around you to cater towards. Your safe space should be by yourself at home.

You know...I actually thought about this when I listened to the first video. I thought to myself....no way in hell do I want to hire these people.

[Savage Husker]

 

The point is not that they are single, huge offenses. It's that they are a million little cuts that, in sum, can negatively impact a person's experience in this country.

 

https://www.buzzfeed.com/hnigatu/racial-microagressions-you-hear-on-a-daily-basis

 

Here are a few examples. Again, the point is not that if you say these things, you're a horrible human being. They just subtly reveal the ways in which we (all) automatically drop people into buckets and regard them differently -- i.e, ethnic people as curiosities who constantly surprise those around them by "acting white", or professional women as shoe models always complimented on their fashion choices first, work quality second. If you've gone through life without ever being asked "So, what other country are you from?", then you have had the luxury of everyone around you assuming you were a natural part of this one. Lucky you.

 

It's not a straightforward topic (social etiquette is never simple!), but I think a little more awareness all around is good. Don't feel as you have to apologize or defend yourself.

 

@TG, as an atheist by the way, I've *always* found it very odd to say or receive "Bless you", or in particular "God bless you." I'm thankful that we seem to have generally moderated it to the former. I do know that people mean well, so there's no offense taken. But it does plainly carry a "Hey, we're all Christians here, right?" message to it. I say it, too, to be polite but I can't help but feel a little deceptive when I do. At the end of the day, it's just simpler to be a white Christian guy in America -- not that my life's been some terrible burden.

 

Another example is "Prayers for ____". It's a standard, almost universal thing to say, but I'm neither Christian nor wish to appear rude. Anyway -- Gesundheit!

 

I'm sorry....but BS.

 

It's called conversation and being around other people. The only way these things don't happen is if people just flat out don't talk to each other. But, then people would be offended for that...I'm sure.

 

When I'm in a crowd and around strange people, I'm sure if I really looked hard, I could find a reason to be offended. But....Who gives a rip??? When you start promoting the fact that these littlest of comments are some type of vast offensive experience, then you lose control of your own happiness. Get over it and grow some thicker skin.

It's innate to drop people into buckets and stereotype based on impressions an individual gathers from interactions with others. People are basically wired to use binary coding to sum up conclusions they have about an individual. That's not to mean it's acceptable to be offensive to others, but just that's how our brain works.

[BigRedBuster]

 

 

The point is not that they are single, huge offenses. It's that they are a million little cuts that, in sum, can negatively impact a person's experience in this country.

 

https://www.buzzfeed.com/hnigatu/racial-microagressions-you-hear-on-a-daily-basis

 

Here are a few examples. Again, the point is not that if you say these things, you're a horrible human being. They just subtly reveal the ways in which we (all) automatically drop people into buckets and regard them differently -- i.e, ethnic people as curiosities who constantly surprise those around them by "acting white", or professional women as shoe models always complimented on their fashion choices first, work quality second. If you've gone through life without ever being asked "So, what other country are you from?", then you have had the luxury of everyone around you assuming you were a natural part of this one. Lucky you.

 

It's not a straightforward topic (social etiquette is never simple!), but I think a little more awareness all around is good. Don't feel as you have to apologize or defend yourself.

 

@TG, as an atheist by the way, I've *always* found it very odd to say or receive "Bless you", or in particular "God bless you." I'm thankful that we seem to have generally moderated it to the former. I do know that people mean well, so there's no offense taken. But it does plainly carry a "Hey, we're all Christians here, right?" message to it. I say it, too, to be polite but I can't help but feel a little deceptive when I do. At the end of the day, it's just simpler to be a white Christian guy in America -- not that my life's been some terrible burden.

 

Another example is "Prayers for ____". It's a standard, almost universal thing to say, but I'm neither Christian nor wish to appear rude. Anyway -- Gesundheit!

I'm sorry....but BS.

 

It's called conversation and being around other people. The only way these things don't happen is if people just flat out don't talk to each other. But, then people would be offended for that...I'm sure.

 

When I'm in a crowd and around strange people, I'm sure if I really looked hard, I could find a reason to be offended. But....Who gives a rip??? When you start promoting the fact that these littlest of comments are some type of vast offensive experience, then you lose control of your own happiness. Get over it and grow some thicker skin.

It's innate to drop people into buckets and stereotype based on impressions an individual gathers from interactions with others. People are basically wired to use binary coding to sum up conclusions they have about an individual. That's not to mean it's acceptable to be offensive to others, but just that's how our brain works.

 

How is saying "bless you" when someone sneezes dropping people in buckets??

 

Here's an idea. If this is how our brains work....stop letting it friggen offend you. If I travel to NYC, should I be offended if someone asks me where I was born?

 

It's dumb to give credence to people being so offended over the littlest dumb things.

[zoogs]

A white, Christian man looks around and tells people of color who are outlining the negative (comparative) differences in their experiences, "BS. You just need a thicker skin"?

Please tell me you can see the optics there.

And, IMO, this victimhood thing is largely a fallacy. Sure I've seen examples of people looking for a reason to get worked up. But by and large, people just have to deal. They've done so all their lives. I think it's fair for them to say "Here's where we can collectively do better" without getting shouted down.

I think people do need to be convinced to pay attention to the saying of certain things, instead of treating it all as safe-to-ignore BS. On the flip side, as far as people needing to learn to not be offended by everything they encounter -- what do you think they've been doing all along? Rolling with it. As if there were ever another choice.

Take your NYC example and keep yourself in Nebraska, except have everyone around you ask you what country you're from.

[Savage Husker]

 

 

 

The point is not that they are single, huge offenses. It's that they are a million little cuts that, in sum, can negatively impact a person's experience in this country.

https://www.buzzfeed.com/hnigatu/racial-microagressions-you-hear-on-a-daily-basis

 

Here are a few examples. Again, the point is not that if you say these things, you're a horrible human being. They just subtly reveal the ways in which we (all) automatically drop people into buckets and regard them differently -- i.e, ethnic people as curiosities who constantly surprise those around them by "acting white", or professional women as shoe models always complimented on their fashion choices first, work quality second. If you've gone through life without ever being asked "So, what other country are you from?", then you have had the luxury of everyone around you assuming you were a natural part of this one. Lucky you.

 

It's not a straightforward topic (social etiquette is never simple!), but I think a little more awareness all around is good. Don't feel as you have to apologize or defend yourself.

 

@TG, as an atheist by the way, I've *always* found it very odd to say or receive "Bless you", or in particular "God bless you." I'm thankful that we seem to have generally moderated it to the former. I do know that people mean well, so there's no offense taken. But it does plainly carry a "Hey, we're all Christians here, right?" message to it. I say it, too, to be polite but I can't help but feel a little deceptive when I do. At the end of the day, it's just simpler to be a white Christian guy in America -- not that my life's been some terrible burden.

 

Another example is "Prayers for ____". It's a standard, almost universal thing to say, but I'm neither Christian nor wish to appear rude. Anyway -- Gesundheit!

 

I'm sorry....but BS.

 

It's called conversation and being around other people. The only way these things don't happen is if people just flat out don't talk to each other. But, then people would be offended for that...I'm sure.

 

When I'm in a crowd and around strange people, I'm sure if I really looked hard, I could find a reason to be offended. But....Who gives a rip??? When you start promoting the fact that these littlest of comments are some type of vast offensive experience, then you lose control of your own happiness. Get over it and grow some thicker skin.

It's innate to drop people into buckets and stereotype based on impressions an individual gathers from interactions with others. People are basically wired to use binary coding to sum up conclusions they have about an individual. That's not to mean it's acceptable to be offensive to others, but just that's how our brain works.

How is saying "bless you" when someone sneezes dropping people in buckets??

Here's an idea. If this is how our brains work....stop letting it friggen offend you. If I travel to NYC, should I be offended if someone asks me where I was born?

 

It's dumb to give credence to people being so offended over the littlest dumb things.

I'm right here with you. I'm not offended by it at all. I identify as a Christian, but if someone of another religion were to wish well upon me from a religion not of my own, I would hope I don't take any offense as they are sending a positive thought my way.

 

My point is that's just how people are wired. I do not think every little thing should bother an individual because unless there is malicious intent behind the words, get to know somebody and learn what they're about before assuming the worst.

[BigRedBuster]

 

A white, Christian man looks around and tells people of color who are outlining the negative (comparative) differences in their experiences, "BS. You just need a thicker skin"?

Please tell me you can see the optics there.

And, IMO, this victimhood thing is largely a fallacy. Sure I've seen examples of people looking for a reason to get worked up. But by and large, people just have to deal. They've done so all their lives. I think it's fair for them to say "Here's where we can collectively do better" without getting shouted down.

I think people do need to be convinced to pay attention to the saying of certain things, instead of treating it all as safe-to-ignore BS. On the flip side, as far as people needing to learn to not be offended by everything they encounter -- what do you think they've been doing all along? Rolling with it. As if there were ever another choice.

Take your NYC example and keep yourself in Nebraska, except have everyone around you ask you what country you're from.

 

So....according to you, I really don't have a say in this because I'm a white male christian and my job in this is to just sit back, shut up and do as I'm told as far as not offending anyone because how in the hell would I know how offended someone is by me saying "bless you".

 

And...to the bolded....even if they did ask me what country I was from.....Who gives a flying rip if they did???

[zoogs]

I think whenever we encounter anything, we do filter it through this "was there malicious intent?" lens -- and in most cases the answer is of course not.

 

Broadly speaking, social etiquette is always evolving. The social makeup of America is changing and will continue to change. The ubiquitous norms and niceties that arose naturally when everyone who was anyone was just a white, Christian landowner, they have had to evolve, too -- and will continue to.

 

I mean, I think we can safely assume we all mean well here. Meaning well means giving people good treatment to the best of our knowledge as to what that is. If we can open our ears, we might figure out how to adopt our own ways of interacting with others, instead of assuming that the habits we learned growing up will never, ever require adjusting and forget anyone who thinks it does.

[zoogs]

So....according to you, I really don't have a say in this because I'm a white male christian and my job in this is to just sit back, shut up and do as I'm told as far as not offending anyone because how in the hell would I know how offended someone is by me saying "bless you".

All you really had to do was not say "BS".

[BigRedBuster]

 

So....according to you, I really don't have a say in this because I'm a white male christian and my job in this is to just sit back, shut up and do as I'm told as far as not offending anyone because how in the hell would I know how offended someone is by me saying "bless you".

All you really had to do was not say "BS".

 

I'm assuming "BS" is a microaggression and it offended someone?

[BigRedBuster]

And...let's not gloss over the idiocy that these people were passionate about freedom of speech and they feel it is imperative that everyone should have the right to say what they feel.......until someone God forbid says....."bless you" when you sneeze.



CRAP....there I go again. I offended someone again by saying "God forbid".

[BigRedBuster]

And....also....this isn't just people claiming we need to be more cognizant of not offending people. This college is instituting policies and a system for students to be able to report to the college whenever they are offended by someone saying "bless you".

[Landlord]

The thing for me, zoogs, is that I don't disagree with most of what you think in the sense of the way I perceive the world and the posture I try to have towards being considerate of others.

 

 

What seems ridiculous to me is what BRB is referencing where these sorts of things which are by and large very, very innocuous, are being turned into something that policy and official guide books are needed for. A black teenager being told by a professor, "Wow, good answer, that was really smart" and perceiving a micro-agression of presuming that because he's black he's unintelligent.....well. That just isn't something that needs to actually be addressed by any official group or stance or influence other than that kid and the professor.

[zoogs]

My issue with "BS" is it's an automatic rejection of concerns that others are expressing because they seem irrelevant from your frame of reference (which, obviously.)

 

And...to the bolded....even if they did ask me what country I was from.....Who gives a flying rip if they did???

I don't know, I'd like to think you are capable of imagining yourself as an American who somehow is routinely treated by your countrymen as a foreigner, or somehow less American than they are. In this scenario, you might have a bit of an issue with that. Perhaps even a desire to educate so as to prevent other people of color from growing up in their own country with routinely alienating experiences.

It really costs nothing to not ask people who haven't identified themselves as from another country, what country they're from. For example.

 

As in other cases, the actual words being said are merely the bit that reveals how they are being regarded Not by one person, but automatically, by many of the people around them. Probably for their skin color. *Surely* when we talk about how we can learn to be better about this, it doesn't merit a hostile reaction?

[BigRedBuster]

So....UNL should implement a system where if someone asks another American what country they were born in, that person can report them to the school and the offending student could get in trouble.

 

 

Yeah......that makes friggen sense.

 

 

And...yes....that's still BS and I'll keep calling it that...

 

Sorry for my microagressiveness.

[zoogs]

You're extrapolating bizarrely inventive penal systems to your own satisfaction, BRB, and I have no idea what you're trying to accomplish with that.

 

The thing for me, zoogs, is that I don't disagree with most of what you think in the sense of the way I perceive the world and the posture I try to have towards being considerate of others.

 

What seems ridiculous to me is what BRB is referencing where these sorts of things which are by and large very, very innocuous, are being turned into something that policy and official guide books are needed for. A black teenager being told by a professor, "Wow, good answer, that was really smart" and perceiving a micro-agression of presuming that because he's black he's unintelligent.....well. That just isn't something that needs to actually be addressed by any official group or stance or influence other than that kid and the professor.

I do think some general advice is important.

 

If you're the black teenager, maybe that advice is "Try not to leap to conclusions; the professor probably meant well. Even if he didn't, there are bigger things in life to deal with." {This has basically been the status quo, no?}

 

If I'm the professor, that advice is "Be careful about saying things like that!" (Depending on the context).

 

Fair, right? It's one thing if the student had a truly ingenious solution the professor hadn't thought of. If the professor is just being surprised to see a black kid answer a simple question where he wouldn't be surprised if it were a white kid, then diversity training for him will be good for everybody. {Diversity training is also the status quo, right?}