'Mansplaining'

[BigRedBuster]

Then stop cherry picking my post trying to make your point.

[zoogs]

You'll have to forgive me for reading the argument as "We try so hard to be cognizant in the professional world" as a reason for "We should have a space outside of all that where we don't have to". 

 

What's your point, exactly? 

 

Apart from this and declaring that there are onerous social boundaries now imposed to make it hard for men to "pick up" women? 

 

 

[Moiraine]

I kinda expected BRB to have responded to my reply to his question by now. And now if I ask I'll just look like I'm picking on him.

 

So now I'm leaving the above passive aggressive post. You're welcome. 

[B.B. Hemingway]

18 hours ago, Landlord said:

@Kiyoat Husker, I appreciate your post! Let me try my take at the same idea, but take it in a slightly different direction in hopes that @B.B. Hemingway can get this.

 

 

I grew up, even in late high school/early college, not having any reservation with the following:

• calling people ****, retard, gay, slut, thug, etc.

• using terms like African-American and jew in jokes or jokingly referring to friends as such, or to players in the NBA, whatever

• making jokes about trivial things like, 'woman, go make me a sandwich'

• i could keep going with this, but you get the idea

 

As I moved to bigger and bigger places, with more people with different like experiences, I started to notice some things.

 

The first thing I noticed was that, even though all those bullet points might seem harmless in their individual contexts (I would never call a black person a African-American, or call a gay person a f****t, or actively seek to oppress minorities! They were just jokes with friends), there was a reason that I was fine with those jokes and terms and that language.

 

The second thing I noticed, or I guess an extension of the first thing, was that I was comfortable with all of that because I'd been taught, very, very, very subtly, that I was more normal and "better" than others who didn't share my normal, default, typical life experience. I felt superior to women without even realizing that that was in my brain.

 

I felt more reasonable and even-tempered and less dramatic than black people without a clue as to why the black people I knew seemed more volatile or dramatic or loud. I knew better than Muslims because I was a Christian and I was right about God while they were simple-minded and misguided. So on and so forth.

 

B.B. and others say these little things don't matter, like grains of sand on the beach. The reason they matter isn't because it actually matters in that moment - it's because they represent something deeper when they happen.

 

It doesn't actually matter that my best friend and I would call each other f****t as a joking insult growing up. Neither of us are gay, neither of us are offended, no harm no foul. What actually matters is that I had a problematic view of gay people that led to me being comfortable saying something like that in the first place.

 

I "get it", and I have from the beginning of this conversation. As I've said before, I just find most (not all) of the things you mentioned pretty harmless.

 

(Full disclosure) Bartering is a weird hobby of mine, and I can't tell you how many times over the past few years I've insisted on "jewing" people down of their prices. Is it culturally insensitive for me to say that? Maybe, for the super-sensitive among us. Is it holding any jewish people back in this world? Doesn't seem too be.

 

(More full disclosure) A literal conversation, that literally took place before I sat down to check in on Huskerboard.....

 

Wife: (Carrying clothes to the kid's room) "We need a maid."

 

Me: (Smiling) "I've already got one."

 

We both laughed, and somehow, I think our marriage will get through it.

[Moiraine]

23 minutes ago, B.B. Hemingway said:

(More full disclosure) A literal conversation, that literally took place before I sat down to check in on Huskerboard.....

 

Wife: (Carrying clothes to the kid's room) "We need a maid."

 

Me: (Smiling) "I've already got one."

 

We both laughed, and somehow, I think our marriage will get through it.

 

 

What is your point with this? I have conversations like this pretty much every day with my fiancé.

[B.B. Hemingway]

1 minute ago, Moiraine said:

 

 

What is your point with this? I have conversations like this pretty much every day with my fiancé.

 

Based on the level of sensitivity in this thread, I would of assumed that it would be seen as disrespectful to my wife/women because I insinuated that she was a "maid", and maids are typically women.

[teachercd]

3 minutes ago, Moiraine said:

 

 

What is your point with this? I have conversations like this pretty much every day with my fiancé.

Do you both laugh?

[Moiraine]

1 minute ago, teachercd said:

Do you both laugh?

 

 

I usually call him a butthead and/or slap him, then he tells the cats I'm abusing him, then I tell the cats I like them more than him, then he says he's moving to the Nebraska panhandle and taking his favorite cat with him, then I say no you aren't, and he says yes I am.

But no, no laughing.

[teachercd]

2 minutes ago, Moiraine said:

 

 

I usually call him a butthead and/or slap him, then he tells the cats I'm abusing him, then I tell the cats I like them more than him, then he says he's moving to the Nebraska panhandle and taking his favorite cat with him, then I say no you aren't, and he says yes I am.

But no, no laughing.

HAHAH!  The Panhandle!

 

Sadly I am sure someone will be offended but that is funny s#!t.

 

Are the sandhills considered part of the panhandle?  I went there once...man.  That is one different place

[B.B. Hemingway]

2 minutes ago, Moiraine said:

 

 

I usually call him a butthead and/or slap him, then he tells the cats I'm abusing him, then I tell the cats I like them more than him, then he says he's moving to the Nebraska panhandle and taking his favorite cat with him, then I say no you aren't, and he says yes I am.

But no, no laughing.

 

Gotta admit. That conversation would be weird as hell without laughter.

[zoogs]

Full disclosure) Bartering is a weird hobby of mine, and I can't tell you how many times over the past few years I've insisted on "jewing" people down of their prices. Is it culturally insensitive for me to say that? Maybe, for the super-sensitive among us. Is it holding any jewish people back in this world? Doesn't seem too be.

 

Wow, wait, what?

[B.B. Hemingway]

12 minutes ago, zoogs said:

 

 

 

Wow, wait, what?

 

Bargaining/Haggling term based on the stereotype of Jewish people being cheap....

 

[zoogs]

Yeah, I got that ... but ... why would you say that?

 

 

 

 

[Moiraine]

55 minutes ago, PaulCrewe said:

It had been mentioned before, but it was more piggy backing the scenario the two prior posts were discussing.  So calm down princess

 

Topical.

 

Here's the post that caused him to tell me to call down and call me princess:

 

"Make a list of posters you think think that? Really not sure what you and Nobody are reading."

[zoogs]

Hey, you were getting hysterical. And maybe a bit shrill. You just come across as a little abrasive, you know? Shouldn't you be worrying about your makeup, or something? Now go make a sandwich (ha, ha, jokes). 

 

Am I doing this right?