BIGREDIOWAN Posted October 31, 2006 Share Posted October 31, 2006 there is a rumor going around that Chuck Norris's tears can cure cancer. but since he never cries, the world will never know. I bet I can get him to cry!!!! If you take a hammer and smash someone's testicles on top of a steel table they are for sure going to get at least one tear!!! Quote Link to comment
BornNBredRed Posted October 31, 2006 Share Posted October 31, 2006 Chuck Norris invented the C-section when he roundhouse kicked his way into the world Quote Link to comment
huskernumerouno Posted October 31, 2006 Share Posted October 31, 2006 there is a rumor going around that Chuck Norris's tears can cure cancer. but since he never cries, the world will never know. I bet I can get him to cry!!!! If you take a hammer and smash someone's testicles on top of a steel table they are for sure going to get at least one tear!!! That makes me cry thinking about it Quote Link to comment
ttheKid1*18 Posted October 31, 2006 Share Posted October 31, 2006 Davo, I love your avatar. Just thought I would tell you. thanks i love her too and you oh boy this is awkward you two need to go and get a room Quote Link to comment
GSG Posted October 31, 2006 Share Posted October 31, 2006 I heard that Mr. Norris had a "Who has the most nuts contest" with Lance Armstrong. Norris won by 5... Quote Link to comment
huskernumerouno Posted November 1, 2006 Share Posted November 1, 2006 I heard that Mr. Norris had a "Who has the most nuts contest" with Lance Armstrong. Norris won by 5... Quote Link to comment
huskernumerouno Posted November 1, 2006 Share Posted November 1, 2006 When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris doesn't have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel. Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice. When Chuck Norris exercises, the machine gets stronger. Rosa Parks refused to get out of her seat because she was saving it for Chuck Norris. Jeeves asks Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris crossed the road. Nobody has ever dared question his motives. Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him. Water boils faster when Chuck Norris watches it. Chuck Norris has only one hand: the upper hand. The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris. If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the f**k down. Chuck Norris can divide by zero. Most men are okay with their wives fantasizing about Chuck Norris during sex, because they are doing the same thing. Chuck Norris clogs the toilet even when he pisses. Chuck Norris can speak braille. Similar to a Russian Nesting Doll, if you were to break Chuck Norris open you would find another Chuck Norris inside, only smaller and angrier. Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris is currently in a legal battle with the makers of Bubble Tape. Norris claims "6 Feet of Fun" is actually the trademark for his penis. At birth, Chuck Norris came out feet first so he could roundhouse kick the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Chuck Norris but Chuck Norris Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas. Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them. Geico saved 15% by switching to Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris realized that if you change the "d" in "wand" to a "g", the Harry Potter books become a whole lot more interesting. As a child, Chuck Norris played Hungry Hungry Hippos with real hippos. Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked Bruce Lee, breaking him in half. The result was Jet Li and Jackie Chan. Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take sh#t from anyone. Chuck Norris only uses one chopstick. Chuck Norris got in touch with his feminine side, and promptly got her pregnant. The only reason Chuck Norris didn't win an Oscar for his performance in "Sidekicks" is because nobody in their right mind would willingly give Chuck Norris a blunt metal object. That's just suicide. Objects in Chuck Norris's rear-view mirror appear at their correct distances. The only reason the Energizer Bunny keeps going and going is because it knows Chuck Norris is after it. Chuck Norris once went on Celebrity Jeopardy and answered, "Who is Chuck Norris?" to every question. It was the first and only time in Jeopardy history that a contestant answered every single question right. Quote Link to comment
husker rob Posted November 1, 2006 Share Posted November 1, 2006 Chuck Norris is a f** Quote Link to comment
husker rob Posted November 1, 2006 Share Posted November 1, 2006 Chuck Norris is the reigning Salad Tossing Champion at the Gay Midget Porn Salad Tossing Expo. He is being challenged this year by newcomer Mark May from ESPN fame. Quote Link to comment
husker rob Posted November 1, 2006 Share Posted November 1, 2006 hey you, hey what, get laid, get f**ked Quote Link to comment
ttheKid1*18 Posted November 1, 2006 Share Posted November 1, 2006 I love the one: "he counted to infiniti twice" Quote Link to comment
huskerdavo Posted November 3, 2006 Author Share Posted November 3, 2006 Davo, I love your avatar. Just thought I would tell you. thanks i love her too and you oh boy this is awkward you two need to go and get a room i live on spooner lane just had to bump Quote Link to comment
BIGREDIOWAN Posted November 4, 2006 Share Posted November 4, 2006 I'm really freakin tired!!!! Quote Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.