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Dilly Dilly

The WTH was I thinking chronicles

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If you could go back in time and reverse one decision you've made, what would it be?

 

The main one for me is that i would never have given my mother in-law a computer and set her up with internet access.

 

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Not sure, because I don't know how the dumb decisions of my past have positively influenced me. So I'll just list a dumb thing.

As a last minute decision, I went to a private university in Iowa as a really immature 18 year old. I failed all of my 2nd semester classes because I didn't want to attend them. I ended up having to attend community college classes just to get my GPA high enough to go to UNL (although that turned out okay 'cause community college classes are much cheaper and can transfer). I'm not going to admit how long it took me to pay back the student loan for that year.

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Maybe not the most serious mistake but the day I decided to bring home a wild stray border collie that had been hanging around a construction site. Pretty sure that dog had been on its own it’s entire life. Figured I was doing it a favor by trying to provide food, shelter, a home.... Oh so wrong. It could not and would not be tamed. I won’t even begin to recount all the things it destroyed. When I would pull into the driveway after work, it would literally jump on top of my car and came in through my open window once. Wild thing. The funny part is when I’d finally had enough and decided it was time to take it to the humane society, that damn dog was perfectly behaved, healed properly on the leash and sat perfectly as I was explaining to them it was a stray and not my dog. It had never prior showed one inkling of being capable of any acceptable behavior. Of course they looked at me like I was a terrible person abandoning my dog that way....

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4 minutes ago, Comfortably Numb said:

Maybe not the most serious mistake but the day I decided to bring home a wild stray border collie that had been hanging around a construction site. Pretty sure that dog had been on its own it’s entire life. Figured I was doing it a favor by trying to provide food, shelter, a home.... Oh so wrong. It could not and would not be tamed. I won’t even begin to recount all the things it destroyed. When I would pull into the driveway after work, it would literally jump on top of my car and came in through my open window once. Wild thing. The funny part is when I’d finally had enough and decided it was time to take it to the humane society, that damn dog was perfectly behaved, healed properly on the leash and sat perfectly as I was explaining to them it was a stray and not my dog. It had never prior showed one inkling of being capable of any acceptable behavior. Of course they looked at me like I was a terrible person abandoning my dog that way....

 

 

That reminds me of my cats. They didn't get along at all for the 8 years they lived together. They fought all the time. I won't go into detail but I had to take 1 of them to live at a farm, and on the day I had to take her, they both cuddled up to each other and nuzzled each other's heads and licked each other.

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About 2 weeks ago,  I got off work and stopped at the booze store.  I got to bulls#!ttin' with the clerk and didn't realize till I got home that I grabbed a 30 of Busch Heavy instead of Busch Lite.   It was a horrible few days to say the least. 

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53 minutes ago, Stumpy1 said:

About 2 weeks ago,  I got off work and stopped at the booze store.  I got to bulls#!ttin' with the clerk and didn't realize till I got home that I grabbed a 30 of Busch Heavy instead of Busch Lite.   It was a horrible few days to say the least. 

 

That's beer for company, then!  (I used to have a stash for company)

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1 hour ago, Stumpy1 said:

About 2 weeks ago,  I got off work and stopped at the booze store.  I got to bulls#!ttin' with the clerk and didn't realize till I got home that I grabbed a 30 of Busch Heavy instead of Busch Lite.   It was a horrible few days to say the least. 

 

We have a winner. Just exactly what in the hell were you thinking? Unbelievable...

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1 hour ago, Stumpy1 said:

About 2 weeks ago,  I got off work and stopped at the booze store.  I got to bulls#!ttin' with the clerk and didn't realize till I got home that I grabbed a 30 of Busch Heavy instead of Busch Lite.   It was a horrible few days to say the least. 

 

Guessing Rosey was working?  I'm betting he would let ya swap it.

Edited by Redux

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Just now, Redux said:

Not gotten on that 4 wheeler when I was 19 after 12 hours of drinking

Something tells me there is either a very interesting or extremely scary story hidden here.

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17 hours ago, Comfortably Numb said:

Something tells me there is either a very interesting or extremely scary story hidden here.

 

Year after I graduated, was living in Lincoln, came back home for the weekend to party with my buddy.  He had borrowed his brothers Dodge pickup so we started booze cruising at noon in style.  By that evening we were sloshed and started inviting people out to my farm for a party.  Classmate shows up with his Raptor in the back of his truck, the ones that would easily do 90mph and were top dog back in 2005.  My buddy tells him leave it on the truck, he didn't.  Bout midnight I jump on it and take off down the gravel road.  I made it roughly 60 yards before apparantely seeing something shiny in the ditch and took a hard left.

 

Next thing I knew I woke up for a second in a field.  Blacked back out.  Woke up as I was crawling towards ditch and tumbled through the barbed wire fence.  Woke up yet again laying in ditch.  Got up onto road holding my mouth.  Missing teeth, some sideways.  Jaw in incredible pain.  Lip split into 4 lips.  Buddy and some others come running up, he says to me "You okay?"  I move my hand and respond "Do I @#$%&*## look okay?".  Somehow I have the wherewithal to tell him to go tell my Mom what happened, tell another to get everyone out of there and the third....to get me to the hospital.  He had a camaro, we made it in record time.  I tried wandering in the ambulance dock, he had to help me find actual emergency entrance.

 

My Mom shows up with my Uncle.  Show them the damage after cursing the doctor poking my jaw, it's broken.  My sympathetic Uncle offers me popcorn, I decline.  Ambulance ride to Lincoln, already hooked up to good stuff so went from drunk to drugged.  This whole thing is somewhat a blur.  Go in for surgery quickly, I think?  I remember jolting awake at one point and half freaking out, but quickly being put back under.  Wake up again to a nurse telling me my blood pressure is too high, I either need to pee or get cathed.  I opt for the bedpan....but can't seem to pee due to the audience and drugs and laying down etc.  So the gentle woman RAMS this thing down my pee hole in hands down the most painful part of this entire incident.

 

Family and friends come visit my dumbass as I'm morphined up something fierce but super glad they fixed my teeth and mouth.  In the end I got my mouth cosmetically put back together, metal plates in my jaw, was missing two teeth and several scars from I'm guessing the barb wire fence I flew through after smashing my face on the handlebars.  Dental work is expensive.  I have only actually had a full mouth of teeth again for a little over a year.

Edited by Redux

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2 hours ago, Comfortably Numb said:

 

We have a winner. Just exactly what in the hell were you thinking? Unbelievable...

I know...I had to buy a gallon of orange juice to make it through it.  Orange juice will about make any beer tolerable. 

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2 hours ago, Redux said:

 

Guessing Rosey was working?  I'm betting he would let ya swap it.

Lee was working.  I imagine he would have but it would have felt like doing the walk of shame. 

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3 hours ago, Stumpy1 said:

I know...I had to buy a gallon of orange juice to make it through it.  Orange juice will about make any beer tolerable. 

 

 

Does OJ actually taste good with beer? I don't know if you're joking because I don't drink beer except occasionally to make sure I still don't like it.

I would say OJ sounds gross with beer but since I think beer sounds gross with beer, I have no idea.

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32 minutes ago, Moiraine said:

 

 

Does OJ actually taste good with beer? I don't know if you're joking because I don't drink beer except occasionally to make sure I still don't like it.

I would say OJ sounds gross with beer but since I think beer sounds gross with beer, I have no idea.

OJ and beer- Yum. 

Tomato juice and beer-I’m not a fan but plenty love it 

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1 hour ago, Redux said:

We used to do shots of Windsor and Tobasco sauce

I know your Nebraska bred if you mention Windsor. 

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6 hours ago, Moiraine said:

 

 

Does OJ actually taste good with beer? I don't know if you're joking because I don't drink beer except occasionally to make sure I still don't like it.

I would say OJ sounds gross with beer but since I think beer sounds gross with beer, I have no idea.

Orange beers are wonderful.  Pour about an inch of OJ in a glass, fill it up with beer and enjoy. 

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6 hours ago, krc1995 said:

OJ and beer- Yum. 

Tomato juice and beer-I’m not a fan but plenty love it 

If i drink red beers, i will use bloody mary mix instead of tomato juice. 

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4 hours ago, Stumpy1 said:

Orange beers are wonderful.  Pour about an inch of OJ in a glass, fill it up with beer and enjoy. 

 

I've never tried this or even heard of such a thing. I have a red beer from time to time but am going to have to try some OJ. I brewed a wheat beer once that I put orange peel and coriander in and that flavor was very good in it. Surprised I haven't considered this before.

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16 hours ago, Redux said:

 

Year after I graduated, was living in Lincoln, came back home for the weekend to party with my buddy.  He had borrowed his brothers Dodge pickup so we started booze cruising at noon in style.  By that evening we were sloshed and started inviting people out to my farm for a party.  Classmate shows up with his Raptor in the back of his truck, the ones that would easily do 90mph and were top dog back in 2005.  My buddy tells him leave it on the truck, he didn't.  Bout midnight I jump on it and take off down the gravel road.  I made it roughly 60 yards before apparantely seeing something shiny in the ditch and took a hard left.

 

Next thing I knew I woke up for a second in a field.  Blacked back out.  Woke up as I was crawling towards ditch and tumbled through the barbed wire fence.  Woke up yet again laying in ditch.  Got up onto road holding my mouth.  Missing teeth, some sideways.  Jaw in incredible pain.  Lip split into 4 lips.  Buddy and some others come running up, he says to me "You okay?"  I move my hand and respond "Do I @#$%&*## look okay?".  Somehow I have the wherewithal to tell him to go tell my Mom what happened, tell another to get everyone out of there and the third....to get me to the hospital.  He had a camaro, we made it in record time.  I tried wandering in the ambulance dock, he had to help me find actual emergency entrance.

 

My Mom shows up with my Uncle.  Show them the damage after cursing the doctor poking my jaw, it's broken.  My sympathetic Uncle offers me popcorn, I decline.  Ambulance ride to Lincoln, already hooked up to good stuff so went from drunk to drugged.  This whole thing is somewhat a blur.  Go in for surgery quickly, I think?  I remember jolting awake at one point and half freaking out, but quickly being put back under.  Wake up again to a nurse telling me my blood pressure is too high, I either need to pee or get cathed.  I opt for the bedpan....but can't seem to pee due to the audience and drugs and laying down etc.  So the gentle woman RAMS this thing down my pee hole in hands down the most painful part of this entire incident.

 

Family and friends come visit my dumbass as I'm morphined up something fierce but super glad they fixed my teeth and mouth.  In the end I got my mouth cosmetically put back together, metal plates in my jaw, was missing two teeth and seceral scars from I'm guessing the barb wire fence I flew through after smashing my face on the handlebars.  Dental work is expensive.  I have only actually had a full mouth of teeth again for a little over a year.

We might be related.

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7 hours ago, Comfortably Numb said:

 

I've never tried this or even heard of such a thing. I have a red beer from time to time but am going to have to try some OJ. I brewed a wheat beer once that I put orange peel and coriander in and that flavor was very good in it. Surprised I haven't considered this before.

Had a buddy order a pitcher of it some years back.  I thought he was just joking around with the waitress. But sure enough,  she brought it.  And it was pretty good.

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8 hours ago, man eating mastodon said:

We might be related.

 

My family tree is more like a weird shrub

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18 minutes ago, Stumpy1 said:

Says the guy that drank/drinks Windsor.  Everyone knows that Canadian Springs was/is the go-to stuff. 

 

I was also still in High School at the time, probably haven't had it since.  Stuffs awful.

 

And gross.

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On 2/18/2018 at 7:35 PM, Redux said:

Why ruin a perfecly good Ocean Spray with that swill?

Did you get this off of Dexter?

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10 hours ago, Stumpy1 said:

Did you get this off of Dexter?

 

Actually never got around to watching that, though I've heard good things.

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On 2/18/2018 at 12:51 AM, krc1995 said:

I know your Nebraska bred if you mention Windsor. 

 

I have never understood the proclivity for drinking Windsor Canadian in every dirt farmer bar in Nebraska.  There is at least half a dozen cheap whiskeys better than it.  

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On 2/17/2018 at 5:39 PM, Redux said:

 

Year after I graduated, was living in Lincoln, came back home for the weekend to party with my buddy.  He had borrowed his brothers Dodge pickup so we started booze cruising at noon in style.  By that evening we were sloshed and started inviting people out to my farm for a party.  Classmate shows up with his Raptor in the back of his truck, the ones that would easily do 90mph and were top dog back in 2005.  My buddy tells him leave it on the truck, he didn't.  Bout midnight I jump on it and take off down the gravel road.  I made it roughly 60 yards before apparantely seeing something shiny in the ditch and took a hard left.

 

Next thing I knew I woke up for a second in a field.  Blacked back out.  Woke up as I was crawling towards ditch and tumbled through the barbed wire fence.  Woke up yet again laying in ditch.  Got up onto road holding my mouth.  Missing teeth, some sideways.  Jaw in incredible pain.  Lip split into 4 lips.  Buddy and some others come running up, he says to me "You okay?"  I move my hand and respond "Do I @#$%&*## look okay?".  Somehow I have the wherewithal to tell him to go tell my Mom what happened, tell another to get everyone out of there and the third....to get me to the hospital.  He had a camaro, we made it in record time.  I tried wandering in the ambulance dock, he had to help me find actual emergency entrance.

 

My Mom shows up with my Uncle.  Show them the damage after cursing the doctor poking my jaw, it's broken.  My sympathetic Uncle offers me popcorn, I decline.  Ambulance ride to Lincoln, already hooked up to good stuff so went from drunk to drugged.  This whole thing is somewhat a blur.  Go in for surgery quickly, I think?  I remember jolting awake at one point and half freaking out, but quickly being put back under.  Wake up again to a nurse telling me my blood pressure is too high, I either need to pee or get cathed.  I opt for the bedpan....but can't seem to pee due to the audience and drugs and laying down etc.  So the gentle woman RAMS this thing down my pee hole in hands down the most painful part of this entire incident.

 

Family and friends come visit my dumbass as I'm morphined up something fierce but super glad they fixed my teeth and mouth.  In the end I got my mouth cosmetically put back together, metal plates in my jaw, was missing two teeth and several scars from I'm guessing the barb wire fence I flew through after smashing my face on the handlebars.  Dental work is expensive.  I have only actually had a full mouth of teeth again for a little over a year.

 

Holy crap, Redux. Glad to hear you're OK after that. That's a crazy story!

 

Closest thing I have to that is, when I was 16 I had a Plymouth Scamp with a 318 V8, and I drove that sucker WAY too fast.  I lived outside of Fremont, and there was this hot air balloon called Mister Moose that would go sailing up in the evening breeze. It was a thing (pre-internet) for people to follow that balloon around the countryside to watch it land.  I was bored out of my mind and saw it off in the distance, so I decided to give chase.

 

Here I am barreling down gravel roads at upwards of 80mph, 16 years old, fiddling with my radio to find something to listen to, when I get to a section of the road that angles over. You know how country roads have those "corrections" in them that just move them to the left like 50 feet?  Came up to one of those with my head down looking at the radio, locked up my brakes, and ended up in the ditch. Hit the little driveway the farmer uses to get into his field, ended up cartwheeling my car end-for-end through the field. 

 

I had my seatbelt on and only clipped my forehead on the steering wheel and ended up with a few stitches.  Car was totaled, though. 

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Yeah, I'm beyond lucky to be alive or at the very least be able to walk away.

 

I freaking HATE those "corrections".  Must have been a well built car to say the least.

Edited by Redux

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This topic reminds me.

 

There's a popular fantasy author who tested the flammability of his washed out gas tank by lighting it on fire. Burned down his office which was next door.

 

 

https://www.nevadaappeal.com/news/local/novelist-accidentally-burns-down-office/

 

 

Quote

An acclaimed novelist lost his office in Carson City on Thursday when he threw a lit piece of paper into gasoline.

Fantasy writer David Eddings, 75, said he was using water to flush out the gas tank of his broken-down Excalibur sports car, when some fluid leaked. In a lapse of judgment he readily admitted, Eddings lit a piece of paper and threw into the puddle to test if it was still flammable. The answer came in an orange torrent.

 

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So many woulda-coulda-shouldas it's hard to choose.  lol  : -)  

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Got into a bar fight almost 30 years ago. As I was crossing the parking lot, I was blindsided by the guy that I beat up inside the bar. Never seen it coming. Woke up in the hospital 2 days later. Had no idea where I was or what happened. I had a severe head injury with blood clots in my right frontal lobe. Lost all of my hearing in my left ear, and part of my hearing in right. Had epileptic type seizures for 5 years and took meds for it for 10 years. Still, have no idea what started that fight.

 

I sure wish I had stayed home that night.

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Somehow, after reading most everyone else's story here,  i feel better about having to deal with my elderly mother inlaw and her computer problems (including falling for nearly every scam out there)

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