TheCropDuster Posted June 9, 2007 Share Posted June 9, 2007 The chief export of Matt Slauson is Pain. Matt Slauson drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls. Matt Slauson can divide by zero. When Matt Slauson talks, everybody listens. And dies. Matt Slauson grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage. It takes 14 puppeteers to make Matt Slauson smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage. Matt Slauson has volunteered to remain on earth after the Rapture; he will spend his time fighting the Anti-Christ. Ladies and gentleman, Matt F'n Slauson Quote Link to comment
skersfan Posted June 9, 2007 Share Posted June 9, 2007 Thanks, we needed that!!!!! Quote Link to comment
husker rob Posted June 9, 2007 Share Posted June 9, 2007 what is up with the goat Quote Link to comment
TheCropDuster Posted June 9, 2007 Author Share Posted June 9, 2007 what is up with the goat There is no chin under Matt Slauson's goat. There is only another fist. Quote Link to comment
husker rob Posted June 9, 2007 Share Posted June 9, 2007 didnt he want to dress up in a buffalo skin coat and head dress before the game last year? that would be one scary m-fer Quote Link to comment
Drowning_in_the_Sea_of_Red Posted June 9, 2007 Share Posted June 9, 2007 didnt he want to dress up in a buffalo skin coat and head dress before the game last year? that would be one scary m-fer Yeah, I think I remember seeing a picture... he looked like a mountain man. Quote Link to comment
huskeraddict Posted June 9, 2007 Share Posted June 9, 2007 I don't know what's funnier, the goat or the ridiculous comb-over. Quote Link to comment
NUpolo8 Posted June 9, 2007 Share Posted June 9, 2007 Matt Slauson thinks Brokeback Mountain is the pile of dead ninjas in his backyard. Quote Link to comment
Drowning_in_the_Sea_of_Red Posted June 9, 2007 Share Posted June 9, 2007 Matt Slauson once ate an entire birthday cake before anyone could tell him there was a stripper inside... Quote Link to comment
tattooedhusker Posted June 9, 2007 Share Posted June 9, 2007 those sound like FACTS to me...Chuck's facts! that can be applied to slausburger. here's one: Slauson has the heart of a child...it's in a mr. T lunch box under his bed! Quote Link to comment
husker rob Posted June 9, 2007 Share Posted June 9, 2007 he has that "go ahead and make fun of me and i will f#*k your sister" smile on his face. Quote Link to comment
Landlord Posted June 10, 2007 Share Posted June 10, 2007 My personal favorite... "When Matt Slauson jumps in a pool, he doesn't get wet, the water gets Matt Slauson." Quote Link to comment
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