No Game? Never Fear! A Boz Report!

[Cy the Cyclone]

Yesterday, I went to the Boz’s football practice. He’s doing well this year…the team in 2-1, having only been beaten by some kids who only qualified to play in the 7th grade league because they had been left back 7 years…I think they were from Cozad. He’s playing center and DE. Only trouble we’ve had since I threatened the coaches this year is the retarded game announcer who can’t get it through his head that BOZ is not pronounce BOOZE…so after every tackle Boz makes, the announcer sounds like he’s calling out for whiskey shots.

 

Now, where was I…oh year. Practice on Monday. Pretty cold and windy at the practice field and I found myself to be the solitary spectator (usually there is a big crowd of suburbanites at practices but, apparently, the wind and cold affects I-phone web browsing or their BMW’x wouldn’t start or something because no one was there…not even the hot mom who, I found out, is a pharmacist! Hot and with access to unlimited prescription drugs…how lucky can one man be!!!) Anyway….I planted my chair and proceeded to become bored watching them practice the Statue of Liberty play or some such crap.

 

The field where Boz practices is very nice and well maintained. It sits behind a school and some suburbanite condos. When I arrived, the Parks guys were just getting done with the mowing and had also finished dragging the softball field that stands off to the side a bit. It looked very, very nice. Too nice in fact. Shortly after they left and I ran out of things to do to entertain myself, I got up to take a walk on this nice softball field. My tracks looked very nice in the dirt….almost like tracks on a beach! “Gee”, I said to myself…”if my tracks stand out that much, I wonder how a big H would look?” So, I proceeded to drag a large, 10’ H into the dirt with my feet. It really stood out! Wow! But the H looked kind of lonely there and you can’t really just make a 10’ H without adding the U-S-K-E-R-S…so I did. When I was finished, HUSKERS spanned the field from baseline to baseline. It looked very nice…all caps…correctly spelled (obviously not the work of a Hawkeye fan)…but the wind was blowing pretty hard and I was kind of worried that it might cover the letters. So I went over them again, making sure I dug my feet in real deep….really grooving them in there. By the time I was done, I had made sure it wouldn’t just disappear overnight…when they other parents finally showed up to pick up their kids, they all remarked on how impressive it was (except the Hawkeye fans…they couldn’t read it.) One fella told me it was sooo impressive that I would meet him at that very same softball field tonight and he would loan me an official West Des Moines Park & Rec Department rake so that I could remove HUSKERS from his ball diamond. Apparently you can see it from the Interstate if you’re looking that way and he told me he generally does look that way when he’s on his way home from his job of mowing the grass and smoothing out the baseball diamond at Boz’s practice field….Oops. So, tonight I will be raking dirt and wishing I had dragged IOWA in the dirt…and misspelled it so he would suspect a Hawkeye fan had done it…didn’t help that I was the only one there with Nebraska gear on….

 

If you happen to drive North on I-35, just before the I-235 exit between 5:00 and 7:00 tonight…make sure to honk. I’ll be there.

[In the Deed the Glory]

[jjamuss]

LOL!! There is only ONE Cy... and we are so lucky he graces us with his wit!!

[HuskerfaninOkieland]

LMAO!

[CENTEXHUSKER]

[UGAHusker]

How is this funny?

[huskernumerouno]

That was great

[MoFan]

Yesterday, I went to the Boz’s football practice. He’s doing well this year…the team in 2-1, having only been beaten by some kids who only qualified to play in the 7th grade league because they had been left back 7 years…I think they were from Cozad. He’s playing center and DE. Only trouble we’ve had since I threatened the coaches this year is the retarded game announcer who can’t get it through his head that BOZ is not pronounce BOOZE…so after every tackle Boz makes, the announcer sounds like he’s calling out for whiskey shots.

 

Now, where was I…oh year. Practice on Monday. Pretty cold and windy at the practice field and I found myself to be the solitary spectator (usually there is a big crowd of suburbanites at practices but, apparently, the wind and cold affects I-phone web browsing or their BMW’x wouldn’t start or something because no one was there…not even the hot mom who, I found out, is a pharmacist! Hot and with access to unlimited prescription drugs…how lucky can one man be!!!) Anyway….I planted my chair and proceeded to become bored watching them practice the Statue of Liberty play or some such crap.

 

The field where Boz practices is very nice and well maintained. It sits behind a school and some suburbanite condos. When I arrived, the Parks guys were just getting done with the mowing and had also finished dragging the softball field that stands off to the side a bit. It looked very, very nice. Too nice in fact. Shortly after they left and I ran out of things to do to entertain myself, I got up to take a walk on this nice softball field. My tracks looked very nice in the dirt….almost like tracks on a beach! “Gee”, I said to myself…”if my tracks stand out that much, I wonder how a big H would look?” So, I proceeded to drag a large, 10’ H into the dirt with my feet. It really stood out! Wow! But the H looked kind of lonely there and you can’t really just make a 10’ H without adding the U-S-K-E-R-S…so I did. When I was finished, HUSKERS spanned the field from baseline to baseline. It looked very nice…all caps…correctly spelled (obviously not the work of a Hawkeye fan)…but the wind was blowing pretty hard and I was kind of worried that it might cover the letters. So I went over them again, making sure I dug my feet in real deep….really grooving them in there. By the time I was done, I had made sure it wouldn’t just disappear overnight…when they other parents finally showed up to pick up their kids, they all remarked on how impressive it was (except the Hawkeye fans…they couldn’t read it.) One fella told me it was sooo impressive that I would meet him at that very same softball field tonight and he would loan me an official West Des Moines Park & Rec Department rake so that I could remove HUSKERS from his ball diamond. Apparently you can see it from the Interstate if you’re looking that way and he told me he generally does look that way when he’s on his way home from his job of mowing the grass and smoothing out the baseball diamond at Boz’s practice field….Oops. So, tonight I will be raking dirt and wishing I had dragged IOWA in the dirt…and misspelled it so he would suspect a Hawkeye fan had done it…didn’t help that I was the only one there with Nebraska gear on….

 

If you happen to drive North on I-35, just before the I-235 exit between 5:00 and 7:00 tonight…make sure to honk. I’ll be there.

 

 

Leave it to a Cyclone fan..j/k

[huzkerbob]

Wait a second, are you telling us your son's name is BOZ!!! Man, as if being the son of a Cyclone fan wasn't bad enough!

[redout22]

Too bad I don't live near there or I would honk at you

[topekahusker]

We need an epilogue to the story.

 

So when you talk to the hot RX mom find out if her husband spends any time on this board, OK?

[huzkerbob]

Just for continuities sake, when you say she's a hot pharmacist. Do you mean hot like this.........

 

 

or hot like THIS?

 

[AR Husker Fan]

Wait a second, are you telling us your son's name is BOZ!!! Man, as if being the son of a Cyclone fan wasn't bad enough!

Ah - you might want to read THIS THREAD first - not only explains how he came to be known as Boz, but also shows he's a bright kid...

[husk3rf8n]

Gotta love Cy's stories...keep em coming!

[kansas husker]

The only thing that would be better if we had a pictue (of the field not the hot mom altjough both would be nice).

 

Awesome story almost fell out of my chair laughing