Here is mine...
I meet this girl at my pool back when I lived in an apartment complex...she is pretty hot so I start chatting with her...we were the only two out there at that time. I had just finished working out when I saw her from the weight room that was next to the pool so of course I did extra push-ups and curls so that I would look better...it didn't help so I just kept my shirt on while swimming and told her that I had a bad sunburn.
Anywho I get her digits and we make plans...We will start off at Kona.
We head out to Kona and start drinking and eating...20 minutes into it I can tell that I am going to have explosive diarrhea and so I say "Hey, I think I just saw a buddy, I will be right back"
I leave and BOOM I explode in the bathroom, trying so hard to crap as fast as I can so that she doesn't think I am doing what I am doing. I get back out and sit down "Wow, yeah, sorry about that, it was one of my old friends I had not seen in forever"
She buys it or she didn't care, either way I was cool with it...so we head out to Citrus (A now defunct bar in Omaha) and we sit down and start drinking...guess what...ITS BACK...I have to explode again!
So I say "Hey, I gotta go to the restroom" and I get up and go...I am sweating! I get in and literally explode the second I sit down...trying as hard as I can to finish up fast. I get back and again say "Man, I just saw a buddy in the restroom" now, there was basically no one in the bar at this time but I still went with that lie.
So we have a few more drinks and finally I feel better...we head back to her place and fool around a bit.
I felt so dirty!