Dear Children of the Corn (Part 2)

[Hercules]

Sorry if this has already been posted someplace else...

 

Dear Children of the Corn: it's me again. I apologize. And also, congratulations.

 

I apologize for the column I wrote earlier this earlier this year, the one in which I said you have become a “loud, antagonizing, arrogant, ignorant, fact-ignoring, excuse-riddled shell of the program you used to be.”

 

You are not ignorant, and I apologize.

I apologize, because your Nebraska Cornhuskers are better than I thought, so far, and maybe a lot better. If I tell my kids to be accountable when they are wrong, then I have to be accountable, too. Your offense, so far, is better than I thought. Your quarterbacking, so far, is much better than I thought it would be. You've handled your schedule, so far, better than I expected, though the Jackrabbits gave you more of a run for your money than you or I expected. Pesky Jackrabbits.

 

Still, I'm sorry, and I was wrong. I’m trying here. I’m sorry.

 

Some of you responded to my column with some words of your own. Some of you bemoaned the fact that I made generalizations about you being a little, um, back-woodsy. The very next day, one of you, the Real Bernie the Husker, sent me a photo of yourself with overalls and a Fosters beer in your lap. Some of your responses directed at me used the word “ass” as both a noun and an adjective, which I certainly appreciate. Creativity is good.

 

One of you said you wanted to punch me in the neck, which I found more baffling than disturbing; why the neck? One of you called at 2:30 in the morning, and you were quite cordial to me when I denied my identity. And if it makes you feel any better, my wife was more angry at me than you about that call. She said it was my fault. Thanks a lot.

 

But again, I'm sorry.

 

But “sorry” is not the most important feeling I need to pass along. After all, the column was written a half of a football season ago. It's water under the bridge, the harvest is in the barn. You have your foot halfway out of the Big 12 door. Today’s a new day. Saturday’s a new day.

 

There is a chance – a good chance – that this will be the last time Texas and Nebraska play a conference game against one another in our lifetimes. This is a big game: hence the video your school produced earlier this year. This is a really important game for you, isn't it? You feel slighted about the Big 12 championship game last year, and you know this is the last time – the last chance – for you to beat Texas. It’s only natural that you – and your players and coaches – feel a little extra pressure this week, isn’t it?

 

The game is in your house, which is often a Big Red nightmare for opponents. You're ranked in the top five, you're undefeated, and you've got a quarterback named Magic. It is good to be a Husker now; real good. You expect to win. Others expect you to win. You should win. You must win.

 

And for that, I say congratulations for this build-up. Congratulations at being undefeated. You've done your part, so far. Congratulations on finding a quarterback who is a great runner, canny, gutsy, charismatic, a winner. He’s a good one, and potentially a great one, based on what he’s done so far. He reminds me of some Texas quarterbacks in the past, but I doubt you'll take that as a compliment.

 

Congratulations, because it looks like Texas has no chance at winning in Lincoln this week. The Longhorns are offensively challenged, and their confidence is wavering. It’s not easy being Texas right now. UCLA – the same team that lost to Kansas State, the team you slaughtered last week – humiliated Texas in Austin. The Texas special teams have been turning the football over at an alarming rate.

 

The Longhorns also lost to the Sooners, which never sits well here. No way Texas can win the Big 12 South now, so no chance for you to get revenge against Texas in the title game for “putting one second back” on the clock last year in Dallas. The Longhorns just want to avoid embarrassment in Lincoln. Mack Brown’s team is staggering, a shell of a team it used to be. Nebraska is sexy; Texas is 3-2.

 

So, congratulations on the win this Saturday.

 

Of course, that is the problem, isn’t it? The actual game awaits. Logic is a wonderful thing if you’re a Nebraska fan these days. The problem with logic, though, is just when you’ve grown accustom to it sitting in the palm of your hand, it vanishes like a failed two-point conversion for a national title. It disappears like a national championship-game field goal attempt that sails wide into the dark Florida night. It leaves you like Billy Sims slashing through your secondary in the memory of your youth. It haunts more than Barry Switzer shouting “Boomer Sooner” in your visiting locker room.

 

Logic says Texas has no chance at winning Saturday. But I remember – and you remember – too many times when logic sailed away from you like an aluminum bat homer at Rosenblatt. The football memories of my youth – like yours – include faded visions of the Oklahoma Sooners, wearing all white, ruining yet another holiday season. Like you, I remember wishing old Switzer would stop smiling. You can still see him, can’t you?

 

I remember how glad I was when you went for two against the Hurricanes back in the day, and I remember thinking at the time that you deserved another shot at Miami after that kind of courage. I remember thinking college football should have a playoff. That was nearly 30 years ago now.

 

I remember Ricky Williams in Lincoln. I remember a young Major Applewhite in Lincoln. I remember Nathan Vasher intercepting a pass when you were driving for the win in Lincoln. Chris Simms won in Lincoln. Do you remember? You remember, don’t you?

 

It makes no sense to pick Texas to win Saturday, which is why I’m picking Texas to win Saturday. Beneath your undefeated start, there are cracks in your armor. Did T-Magic really just throw the ball seven times against Kansas State? Seven? Hmmm.

 

The Longhorns have nothing to lose, other than their third game of the season. You have everything to lose: a top five ranking, an undefeated season, a chance to beat those sorry, snobby burnt-orange cheats from Texas. This is your last chance for a long, long time, Nebraska. A weary, struggling, embarrassed opponent is coming your way. You have no cause to worry, no cause for doubt. If you lose, you'll have lost to Texas one more, final, time; if the Longhorns lose, they'll just fly back to Austin.

 

So again, I’m sorry about before. And congratulations on your undefeated season, so far.

 

But for no logical reason, or maybe because of no logical reason, I’m picking Texas to win Saturday.

 

And 13-12 sounds just about right.

[In the Deed the Glory]

If we are no big deal, and Texas doesn't care, then why the hell is every writer in Texas putting one of these "stellar" literary works out there this week?

 

I find that hysterical.

[GSG]

I'm going to print this out. I'm all out of TP

[GMoose]

[bleedNUred]

LOL this guys is right in a weird sense at the fact that they have everything to gain and we have everything to lose but I highly doubt we blow our last shot at these guys. Good try though at trying to get under Husker Nations skin, might have worked on some but not me as I'm focused just like our Huskers will be when they take the field on Saturday to show the country what were all about once again.

[bleedNUred]

If we are no big deal, and Texas doesn't care, then why the hell is every writer in Texas putting one of these "stellar" literary works out there this week?

 

I find that hysterical.

Funny that you point that out because they're trying to act as if we beat them or blow them out they won't care but in reality it's their worst nightmare considering the circumstances between our schools. Saturday can't get here soon enough.

[Drowning_in_the_Sea_of_Red]

Sorry if this has already been posted someplace else...

 

It makes no sense to pick Texas to win Saturday, which is why I'm picking Texas to win Saturday. Beneath your undefeated start, there are cracks in your armor. Did T-Magic really just throw the ball seven times against Kansas State? Seven? Hmmm.

 

Did T-Magic have a reason to throw the ball more than seven times against KState?

[Hercules]

I just think it's funny to look at all these different Texas writers and their mechanisms for coping with a 2 game losing streak.

[WYHusk]

Screw that guy. Let's see what he has to say after we we win by 4 touchdowns on Sat.

 

Actually, by Sunday I won't give a rip ...

:throwdabones1: :throwdabones1:

[knapplc]

Sorry if this has already been posted someplace else...

 

It makes no sense to pick Texas to win Saturday, which is why I'm picking Texas to win Saturday. Beneath your undefeated start, there are cracks in your armor. Did T-Magic really just throw the ball seven times against Kansas State? Seven? Hmmm.

 

Did T-Magic have a reason to throw the ball more than seven times against KState?

Did UCLA really just throw the ball nine times against Texas? Nine? Hmmmm.

[sd'sker]

Sorry if this has already been posted someplace else...

 

It makes no sense to pick Texas to win Saturday, which is why I'm picking Texas to win Saturday. Beneath your undefeated start, there are cracks in your armor. Did T-Magic really just throw the ball seven times against Kansas State? Seven? Hmmm.

 

Did T-Magic have a reason to throw the ball more than seven times against KState?

Did UCLA really just throw the ball nine times against Texas? Nine? Hmmmm.

yes and their qb gashed them for a long run. hopefully the zone read is has hard, if not harder, to defend than the pistol.

[hskrfan4life]

Sorry if this has already been posted someplace else...

 

It makes no sense to pick Texas to win Saturday, which is why I'm picking Texas to win Saturday. Beneath your undefeated start, there are cracks in your armor. Did T-Magic really just throw the ball seven times against Kansas State? Seven? Hmmm.

 

Did T-Magic have a reason to throw the ball more than seven times against KState?

Did UCLA really just throw the ball nine times against Texas? Nine? Hmmmm.

yes and their qb gashed them for a long run. hopefully the zone read is has hard, if not harder, to defend than the pistol.

People are saying oh Nebraska won't be able to win if they are in a situation where they need to throw the ball, which is actually a false statement. No one has made Nebraska throw the ball this year. When we are forced to throw the ball i'll get back to you on that after I see the result of the situation.

[AF Husker Fan]

McSchay said the matchup to watch for is TMart vs Blake Gideon so I assume he is looking for us to throw the ball.

 

Texas' Run D is mediocre (but they've faced TERRIBLE rushing offenses with 1 exception) so I don't see us being forced to throw the ball.

[Lil' Red]

Oh I guess I've been doing this all wrong. Your not supposed to use logic when making picks and illogical picks actually make sense. You can count on Georgia State beating Bama this year

[sd'sker]

Sorry if this has already been posted someplace else...

 

It makes no sense to pick Texas to win Saturday, which is why I'm picking Texas to win Saturday. Beneath your undefeated start, there are cracks in your armor. Did T-Magic really just throw the ball seven times against Kansas State? Seven? Hmmm.

 

Did T-Magic have a reason to throw the ball more than seven times against KState?

Did UCLA really just throw the ball nine times against Texas? Nine? Hmmmm.

yes and their qb gashed them for a long run. hopefully the zone read is has hard, if not harder, to defend than the pistol.

People are saying oh Nebraska won't be able to win if they are in a situation where they need to throw the ball, which is actually a false statement. No one has made Nebraska throw the ball this year. When we are forced to throw the ball i'll get back to you on that after I see the result of the situation.

well we had a couple 3 and longs against washington, and t-mart (with the help of kinnie's playmaking ability) handle it just fine.