Cy the Cyclone Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 True story...not that I've ever made any stories up...embellished them a little and changed the names to protect the innocent...but they are always based on fact... Anyway.... This morning, I get up and remember that I don’t have any jobs scheduled today so I can relax a while. I noticed all my fine Iowa State t-shirts were dirty so I grabbed my gray Husker shirt off the pile and took off. First place I go is the local food pantry. Now, not saying Cy is out of money since being laid off but most of Cy’s money is being spent on better things than food…like cigarettes and beer and hookers…don’t have no money to waste on mere food. Actually it’s not really a food pantry anyway but I tell everyone it is so the gold diggers will leave me alone and my kid will quit asking me for money but that really doesn’t have anything to do with the story so who cares eh? So, I saunter on into the “not a food pantry” place to hand over my order and let them talk me into paying for it. The lady at the table is typical for the kind of lady that works with food all the time…huge, but she’s talking with a reasonably attractive blonde sitting beside her. “Wow…” says Cy (who, truthfully, has really lowered his standards as the years have gone by) “Not too shabby for an old gal (I would guess maybe in her 30’s somewhere…young compared to me but still…)…and there’s nothing that impresses a good looking woman more than coming into a food pantry dressed like a hobo…” I decided rather than have her spit on me or something of that sort, I would just kind of ignore her so I walked up to the fat lady, gave her my order and my check and turned to go…when suddenly I hear “Are you a Husker fan?” It was the musical voice of the beautiful blonde (it was actually a voice that sounded more like it was made for yelling at her kids and average looking might better describe her…and the brown roots even made whether or not she was a blonde obviously questionable) so I answered “Why yes…I am a fan of the Huskers” “Are you from Nebraska?” She asked “No…I was born with this birth defect…that sometimes throws people off” “Did you go to Nebraska?” “Nope…I can read and write and even cipher now and then” She was so impressed with my suave charm that she embarked on a long monolog about what huge Husker fans she and her husband were and then we launched into an hour long conversation about all things Husker past, present and future…she knew as much about the Huskers as anybody I had met for a long time. Why…when she was a little girl, her mother made her a little Husker cheerleader outfit and she used to spend Saturdays in front of the TV doing cheers during the games…which got me wondering what she would look like in my bedroom in a cheerleader outfit doing cheers….but then she dropped the bombshell…”You should check out the Husker forum my husband is always on…it’s www.huskerboard.com. It’s great!” Oh hell…I was just imagining some guy on here’s wife doing…things….in a cheerleader outfit in my bedroom! That’s like sleeping with your sister for God’s sake (for that Clemson guy who comes on here every now and then…that’s a BAD thing)… Anyway, I left soon after that and I thought I better come clean with whoever this woman belongs to…especially if it’s that state trooper guy (I drive a…uh…1996 Ford Escort by the way. Yeah…that’s it…and I’m a big Chinese guy…with one leg) before someone comes looking for Cy… Quote Link to comment
HUSKERNSAV Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 Classic! I am curious to see whos wife it is I am sure it will make for some great off season entertainment Quote Link to comment
IBleedHuskerRed Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 Lol good story. Who's wife is it? Quote Link to comment
husker B-rent Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 now thats funny right there! cmon fess up, if it was your wife please stand up.......and type to tell us! Quote Link to comment
rawhide Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 Whomever is probably searching all the goat pens in iowa looking for Cy. GBR Quote Link to comment
huskerpilot Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 pretty sure we need some pics on this thread. Quote Link to comment
Spooky Tooth Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 True story...not that I've ever made any stories up...embellished them a little and changed the names to protect the innocent...but they are always based on fact... Anyway.... This morning, I get up and remember that I don’t have any jobs scheduled today so I can relax a while. I noticed all my fine Iowa State t-shirts were dirty so I grabbed my gray Husker shirt off the pile and took off. First place I go is the local food pantry. Now, not saying Cy is out of money since being laid off but most of Cy’s money is being spent on better things than food…like cigarettes and beer and hookers…don’t have no money to waste on mere food. Actually it’s not really a food pantry anyway but I tell everyone it is so the gold diggers will leave me alone and my kid will quit asking me for money but that really doesn’t have anything to do with the story so who cares eh? So, I saunter on into the “not a food pantry” place to hand over my order and let them talk me into paying for it. The lady at the table is typical for the kind of lady that works with food all the time…huge, but she’s talking with a reasonably attractive blonde sitting beside her. “Wow…” says Cy (who, truthfully, has really lowered his standards as the years have gone by) “Not too shabby for an old gal (I would guess maybe in her 30’s somewhere…young compared to me but still…)…and there’s nothing that impresses a good looking woman more than coming into a food pantry dressed like a hobo…” I decided rather than have her spit on me or something of that sort, I would just kind of ignore her so I walked up to the fat lady, gave her my order and my check and turned to go…when suddenly I hear “Are you a Husker fan?” It was the musical voice of the beautiful blonde (it was actually a voice that sounded more like it was made for yelling at her kids and average looking might better describe her…and the brown roots even made whether or not she was a blonde obviously questionable) so I answered “Why yes…I am a fan of the Huskers” “Are you from Nebraska?” She asked “No…I was born with this birth defect…that sometimes throws people off” “Did you go to Nebraska?” “Nope…I can read and write and even cipher now and then” She was so impressed with my suave charm that she embarked on a long monolog about what huge Husker fans she and her husband were and then we launched into an hour long conversation about all things Husker past, present and future…she knew as much about the Huskers as anybody I had met for a long time. Why…when she was a little girl, her mother made her a little Husker cheerleader outfit and she used to spend Saturdays in front of the TV doing cheers during the games…which got me wondering what she would look like in my bedroom in a cheerleader outfit doing cheers….but then she dropped the bombshell…”You should check out the Husker forum my husband is always on…it’s www.huskerboard.com. It’s great!” Oh hell…I was just imagining some guy on here’s wife doing…things….in a cheerleader outfit in my bedroom! That’s like sleeping with your sister for God’s sake (for that Clemson guy who comes on here every now and then…that’s a BAD thing)… Anyway, I left soon after that and I thought I better come clean with whoever this woman belongs to…especially if it’s that state trooper guy (I drive a…uh…1996 Ford Escort by the way. Yeah…that’s it…and I’m a big Chinese guy…with one leg) before someone comes looking for Cy… Another gem. Thanks, my man! Quote Link to comment
husker rob Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 good for a great laugh as always thanks Cy Quote Link to comment
papersun87 Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 I've had two people the last few weeks glance over my shoulder and say, "Oh, Huskerboard! Yeah, I post on there sometimes!" Odd. I could have had a brush with rkhuku7 or something. Quote Link to comment
HUSKER 37 Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 pretty sure we need some pics on this thread. Like what the blonde actually looked like? After the mass quantities (cigarettes and beers) Then the next morning after they wore off. Quote Link to comment
BIGREDIOWAN Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 That's hilarious! Good story Cy............ Quote Link to comment
Wild Bill Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 ...which got me wondering what she would look like in my bedroom in a cheerleader outfit doing cheers….but then she dropped the bombshell…”You should check out the Husker forum my husband is always on…it’s www.huskerboard.com. It’s great!” Oh hell…I was just imagining some guy on here’s wife doing…things….in a cheerleader outfit in my bedroom! That’s like sleeping with your sister for God’s sake (for that Clemson guy who comes on here every now and then…that’s a BAD thing)… Anyway, I left soon after that and I thought I better come clean with whoever this woman belongs to… Damn, you only had social intercourse with her?!? Quote Link to comment
GSG Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 ...which got me wondering what she would look like in my bedroom in a cheerleader outfit doing cheers….but then she dropped the bombshell…”You should check out the Husker forum my husband is always on…it’s www.huskerboard.com. It’s great!” Oh hell…I was just imagining some guy on here’s wife doing…things….in a cheerleader outfit in my bedroom! That’s like sleeping with your sister for God’s sake (for that Clemson guy who comes on here every now and then…that’s a BAD thing)… Anyway, I left soon after that and I thought I better come clean with whoever this woman belongs to… Damn, you only had social intercourse with her?!? I almost though it was Wild Bill since I hadn't seen his name for a while. But alas, the mystery continues.... Quote Link to comment
rawhide Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 Dear you haven't been to Iowa lately have you? Dear, Hey where you at????????? uhoh somebody has to take the fall right? Quote Link to comment
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