Are you afraid of death?

[BIGREDIOWAN]

I can agree with what you just said there Hound. I should further state that just because I could get killed doing what I do doesn't mean I'm going to allow it to happen. I've been trained with the mentality that I will fight to win and losing ain't in my vocabulary. Dude better get a head shot in to the central processesor because if he doesn't his a$$ is mine!

[Enhance]

A couple things.

 

1) I'm afraid of dying. I don't want to leave this earth, I don't want to be old and I don't want to have to leave the people I love. I don't want to lay in a hospital bed knowing that it's the last place I'll ever be. And given that it's more likely to die of disease than just natural causes, it's very frightening.

 

I'm also equally afraid of losing the ones I love. I'm fortunate enough to still have my parents and it's tough to imagine lift without them. Similarly, it's tough to imagine my girlfriend (and probably future fiancee/wife) dying on me in the future. Scary thought.

 

2) I'm afraid of the unknown. Maybe there's a God and heaven, maybe there's a Satan and hell. Maybe, when we die, that's it. No afterlife, no recurring thoughts - just nothingness that is impossible to experience. That was our one shot at life and it is over for the rest of eternity.

 

All that said, I don't let it (or try not to let it) affect my everyday life. You just have to be grateful for every day and the moments you are given.

 

You basically nailed it on the head for me. The only thing that I would add would be I think about death alot. I prepare for it everyday as a police officer and I don't mean that in a heroic sense either. Every car I stop, every call I go on, everytime I leave my house, I think I'm going to die that day or be faced with a situation where I could die. It's a s&*tty feeling to have everyday, but I love what I do and wouldn't trade it for the world..............most days. I told my wife that the only thing I don't think I could handle mentally would be losing one of our boys. If I lost one of our boys.........I don't know what I would do. When I became a father I was filled with so much passion and love for those boys and a sense of I would do anything for those boys it's kinda scary. Shortly before I left the SWAT team I was shot at several times and by the grace of god I wasn't hit and neither were any of my team members. While I was sitting at home trying to return to my "normal" life after some guy just tried to kill me it hit me...........I could've died just a little while ago. It scared the hell out of me and made me shake after the fact. Needless to say once my boys were born I didn't think I could go through a door after people like that anymore. Having said that I may have to do that as a police officer, but that's what the SWAT team is for. This maniac killed his wife and neighbor in the street and was going to kill his 5 children upstairs when we went in.

 

I'm not a religious man, but I'm a spiritual man. What I mean by that is, some people fear god and think he's vengeful and we'll all pay for our sins. I don't believe that...........my god is an understanding god that will forgive me for my sins and accept me for who I am because after all........he made me.

Very insightful post, man.

 

I have to hand it to you - being able to deal with the mental and psychological aspects of upholding our laws has to be tough and I have a lot of respect for you. I don't know how well I'd be able to deal with that thought every day but props to you for facing it.

[tmfr15]

Death, the process, doesn't really scare me much. But the thought of oblivion. That's it. Kind of like the old tube tv sets that just faded to the little spark of light in the middle, then, nothing. That kind of freaks me out.

[The Dude]

Death, the process, doesn't really scare me much. But the thought of oblivion. That's it. Kind of like the old tube tv sets that just faded to the little spark of light in the middle, then, nothing. That kind of freaks me out.

I'm fine with that part. Didn't bug me much before I was born, probably won't be much of an issue after I die.