HUSKER 37 Posted May 4, 2013 Share Posted May 4, 2013 I thought thiS thread already existed,,,Or maybe I started it somewhere else..??? I've got this co-worker that asks me several times a day, "What's UP?" So I'm looking for something to either make him stop, or...Die Coach: Can I draw you a beer, Norm Norm: No, I know what they look like. Just pour me one. Coach: How about a beer, Norm? Norm: Hey I'm high on life, Coach. Of course, beer is my life Coach: How's a beer sound, Norm? Norm: I dunno. I usually finish them before they get a word in. Coach: What's up, Norm? Norm: Corners of my mouth, Coach.? Coach: What's shaking, Norm? Norm: All four cheeks and a couple of chins, Coach. Coach: Beer, Normie? Norm: Uh, Coach, I dunno, I had one this week. Eh, why not, I'm still young. Coach: Normie, Normie, could this be Vera? Norm: With a lot of expensive surgery, maybe. Coach: What's up, Normie? Norm: The temperature under my collar, Coach. Coach: What would you say to a nice beer, Normie? Norm: Going down? Coach: What's up, Norm? Norm: Everything that's supposed to be. Sam: What's new, Normie? Norm: Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach. They're demanding beer. Coach: What'll it be, Normie? Norm: Just the usual Coach. I'll have a froth of beer and a snorkel. Coach: What would you say to a beer, Normie? Norm: Daddy wuvs you. Sam: What'd you like, Normie? Norm: A reason to live. Gimme another beer. Sam: What will you have, Norm? Norm: Well, I'm in a gambling mood, Sammy. I'll take a glass of whatever comes out of that tap. Sam: Oh, looks like beer, Norm. Norm: Call me Mister Lucky. Sam: What do you say, Norm? Norm: Any cheap, tawdry thing that'll get me a beer. Sam: What do you say to a beer, Normie? Norm: Hiya, sailor. New in town? Norm: -coming in from the rain- Evening, everybody. All: Norm! (Norman!) Sam: Still pouring, Norm? Norm: That's funny, I was about to ask you the same thing. Sam: What's the good word, Norm? Norm: Plop, plop, fizz, fizz. Sam: Oh no, not the Hungry Heifer... Norm: Yeah, yeah, yeah... Sam: One heartburn cocktail coming up. Sam: Whaddya say, Norm? Norm: Well, I never met a beer I didn't drink. And down it goes. Woody: What's your pleasure, Mr. Peterson? Norm: Boxer shorts and loose shoes. But I'll settle for a beer. Paul: Hey Norm, how's the world been treating you? Norm: Like a baby treats a diaper. Norm: Hey, everybody. All: -silence; everybody is mad at Norm for being rich- Norm: -carries on both sides of the conversation himself- Norm! (Norman.) How are you feeling today, Mr. Peterson? Rich and thirsty. Pour me a beer. Norm: Hey, everybody. Woody: Norm! -nobody else in the bar says anything- Norm: That's it, I'm leaving. Norm: -comes in, pretending to be Joe Average customer, as part of operation Wayne Down the Dwain- Customer: Norm! Norm: -quietly- Not now! Woody: Would you like a beer, Mr. Peterson? Norm: No, I'd like a dead cat in a glass. Sam: How's life treating you? Norm: It's not, Sammy, but you can! Woody: Can I pour you a draft, Mr. Peterson? Norm: A little early, isn't it Woody? Woody: For a beer? Norm: No, for stupid questions. Woody: What's the story, Mr. Peterson? Norm: The Bobbsey twins go to the brewery. Let's cut to the happy ending. Woody: Hey, Mr. Peterson, there's a cold one waiting for you. Norm: I know, and if she calls, I'm not here. Sam: Beer, Norm? Norm: Have I gotten that predictable? Good. Woody: What's going on, Mr. Peterson? Norm: A flashing sign in my gut that says, ``Insert beer here.'' Woody: Hey, Mr. Peterson, Jack Frost nipping at your nose? Norm: Yep, now let's get Joe Beer nipping at my liver, huh? Woody: What's going on, Mr. Peterson? Norm: Another layer for the winter, Wood. Q: Whatcha up to Norm? (said by Sam) A: My ideal weight if I were eleven feet tall. "How's it going, Mr. Peterson?" "Poor." "I'm sorry to hear that." "No, I mean pour." "How's life treating you, Norm? "Like it caught me sleeping with its' wife." "Women. Can't live with 'em, pass the beer nuts." "What's going down, Normie?" "My butt cheeks on that bar stool." "How's life in the fast lane?" "Dunno, can't get on the on-ramp." "Pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson." "Alright, but stop me at one.... make that one-thirty." "How's it going Mr. Peterson?" "It's a dog eat dog world, Woody, and I'm wearing Milk-Bone underwear!" "What's the story, Norm?" "Boy meets beer. Boy drinks beer. Boy meets another beer." "How about a beer, Norm?" "That's that amber sudsy stuff, right? I've heard good things about it!" "What's going on, Mr. Peterson?" "The question is what's going in Mr. Peterson. A beer please, Woody." "What's up, Normie?" "My nipples, it's freezing out there." Quote Link to comment
NUance Posted May 4, 2013 Share Posted May 4, 2013 "How's it going Mr. Peterson?""It's a dog eat dog world, Woody, and I'm wearing Milk-Bone underwear!" Ha ha! I remember seeing that one! Great show. Wish they still had Cheers reruns on. Quote Link to comment
walksalone Posted May 4, 2013 Share Posted May 4, 2013 "How's it going Mr. Peterson?""It's a dog eat dog world, Woody, and I'm wearing Milk-Bone underwear!" Ha ha! I remember seeing that one! Great show. Wish they still had Cheers reruns on. possibly one of the most underrated tv lines ever... Quote Link to comment
HUSKER 37 Posted May 4, 2013 Author Share Posted May 4, 2013 Any one have a gooder response to "What's Up"? I'm tired of saying "The Cost of living", or "The Ceiling" Googled the subject but Computer is extra sluggish on some of these search engine sites. So far, The more better ones seem to be "The Opposite of Down" and "Don King's Hair" It's May in Phoenix, so I probably can't use "My nipples, it's freezing out there." Quote Link to comment
MLB 51 Posted May 4, 2013 Share Posted May 4, 2013 eiling Any one have a gooder response to "What's Up"? I'm tired of saying "The Cost of living", or "The Ceiling" Googled the subject but Computer is extra sluggish on some of these search engine sites. So far, The more better ones seem to be "The Opposite of Down" and "Don King's Hair" It's May in Phoenix, so I probably can't use "My nipples, it's freezing out there." Just point to the ceiling and when looks up walk away. You don't have say anything. Quote Link to comment
RedRedJarvisRedwine Posted May 4, 2013 Share Posted May 4, 2013 "How's it going Mr. Peterson?""It's a dog eat dog world, Woody, and I'm wearing Milk-Bone underwear!" Ha ha! I remember seeing that one! Great show. Wish they still had Cheers reruns on. Channel 238 on direct TV. It's on during the daytime so TiVo is the way to go. Not sure which day. That channel runs old episodes of Becker and Wings and others including cheers. Quote Link to comment
The Dude Posted May 4, 2013 Share Posted May 4, 2013 Any one have a gooder response to "What's Up"? Does it have to be workplace appropriate? Because my go-to response to that question is usually: "Hard dicks and helicopters." Quote Link to comment
VA Husker Fan Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 Any one have a gooder response to "What's Up"? Not an actual response, but a story that may make you smile the next time someone asks. A friend of mine works in the ER in the Tidewater area. She says an unbelievable number of people come in with something jammed up their butt. Things you wouldn't think of. I didn't ask for specifics. So I wonder, in that area, when people ask "What's up?" if it's a real query, and not just a greeting. Quote Link to comment
NUance Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 Any one have a gooder response to "What's Up"? I'm tired of saying "The Cost of living", or "The Ceiling" Here's a couple: my IQ (or, if appropriate: my blood alcohol content/my blood pressure) birth rate in the ghetto my undescended left testicle your wife's legs Quote Link to comment
HUSKER 37 Posted May 5, 2013 Author Share Posted May 5, 2013 Any one have a gooder response to "What's Up"? I'm tired of saying "The Cost of living", or "The Ceiling" Here's a couple: my IQ (or, if appropriate: my blood alcohol content/my blood pressure) birth rate in the ghetto my undescended left testicle your wife's legs Nice Quote Link to comment
HUSKER 37 Posted May 5, 2013 Author Share Posted May 5, 2013 Any one have a gooder response to "What's Up"? Not an actual response, but a story that may make you smile the next time someone asks. A friend of mine works in the ER in the Tidewater area. She says an unbelievable number of people come in with something jammed up their butt. Things you wouldn't think of. I didn't ask for specifics. So I wonder, in that area, when people ask "What's up?" if it's a real query, and not just a greeting. Makes me wish I knew where that gif of the dog scooting across the carpet while some guy is bench pressing is ... Quote Link to comment
HUSKER 37 Posted May 5, 2013 Author Share Posted May 5, 2013 Any one have a gooder response to "What's Up"? Does it have to be workplace appropriate? Because my go-to response to that question is usually: "Hard dicks and helicopters." Sounds like a painful combination. Quote Link to comment
Husker from Kansas Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 Any one have a gooder response to "What's Up"? I'm tired of saying "The Cost of living", or "The Ceiling" Here's a couple: my IQ (or, if appropriate: my blood alcohol content/my blood pressure) birth rate in the ghetto my undescended left testicle your wife's legs Nice That may be the best one I've ever heard! Quote Link to comment
T_O_Bull Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 "How's it going Mr. Peterson?""It's a dog eat dog world, Woody, and I'm wearing Milk-Bone underwear!" Ha ha! I remember seeing that one! Great show. Wish they still had Cheers reruns on. They do. Quote Link to comment
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