Popular Post Cy the Cyclone Posted July 12, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted July 12, 2013 With the new conference affiliation come new travel destinations. No longer will Husker fans enjoy the exciting weekend trips to such paradises as Kansas and Oklahoma or the excitement of pointing out the World’s Largest Ball of String or The Flattest Point On Earth With No Signs of Life (unless you are traveling to Valentine to visit Grandma) and the other amazing sights that you would pass by while road-tripping throughout the Big 12. A whole new vista of excitement awaits as you plan your travels throughout the Big However Many Of You There Are and I, being the helpful and considerate soul that I am, have prepared this travelogue in order for you to get the most out of your Husker Football road trips so that you might more enjoy your travel to and from the games Destination: Minnesota! Minnesota has always been one of my favorite states from the time I was a small child because Minnesota was easy to place in the United States jigsaw puzzle that my Kindergarten teacher, Mrs Hitler forced us to put together so we could learn geography. She would come by with a box of the state puzzle pieces and say “Cy…pick a state out of this box and put it where it belongs in the United States”. This would have been easy if she hadn’t had us seated in alphabetical order and if every other student in the class hadn’t been named Zebulon…but, inevitably I was always first and would always end up picking out some dumb-ass state like Kansas or Wyoming or some other middle of the country state that had no discernible boundaries on the map. I would take my Kansas puzzle piece and put it into the approximate location held by the actual state of Kentucky and then sit down while Mrs Hitler explained to the class what an idiot I was. That’s why I loved Minnesota…it had that little hook at the top that actually fit onto a border of the map. Why, if I could have drawn Minnesota (or Maine, Florida, Oregon or even Texas for God’s sake) things would have been golden…as in Golden Gophers…and that is why Minnesota is a great travel destination. Minnesota History Minnesota was officially admitted into the Union back in 18 and something when some Canadians fell off a glacier and couldn’t get back up. They soon built a village at that spot and, as more Canadians came to see what the ruckus was all about and fell off the glacier themselves, the settlement soon became known as Canada Falls. The US government, seeing a golden opportunity to get more tax revenue, arrived shortly thereafter and found a tribe of Indians on the land with whom they could not communicate. Since government representatives could not figure out the name of this tribe and since they didn’t have anything to tax, they called them the Dakotas and kicked them all into the barren wastes of North Dakota and named the land Minnesota…after the real small cups of Coke you pay $8.00 for at the Metrodome. Presently, Minnesota contains a lot of people….99.5% of who live in the city of Minneapolis. The rest of the state is inhabited by 10,000 lakes…some Canadians who are still waiting for the glaciers to melt and a good number of hippies who’s VW vans broke down as they fled to Canada to avoid the draft. Minnesota Facts: State Bird – The Mosquito State Rock – Prince State Animal – Jessie Ventura State Motto – Only Our Lake is Superior Things You Don’t Want To Miss in Minnesota: A trip to Minnesota can’t be complete without some side trips to these interesting locations… Shakopee – This famous town was founded when some pioneers discovered a lone outhouse sitting in the middle of the prairie. When spotting this sight from a distance, the leader of the wagon train reportedly shouted…”Why, that looks like a deserted outhouse! Who in tarnation would build a shack of pee out here in the middle of nowhere?” and the name stuck. The town has grown since then but it still retains its rustic “Outhouse in the middle of nowhere” appeal The Spam Museum – This wonderful institution is located on some interstate that I don’t remember the name of since I was driving as fast as I could to get away from the cloud of noxious smells coming from the Spam factory located close by. At this fascinating museum you will discover how millions of animals can get tossed into a grinder and mashed into some sort of meat goo that comes in a can…or you can just hit a deer with your car and look at the results…same thing. Hastings Rock Formations – The rock formations around the town of Hastings will hold a lot of interest for amateur geologists and NFL fans alike as it is rumored that the fossil remains of Bud Grant can be found here… Ashford Funeral Home – I once boinked the daughter of the owners of this establishment in one of the upstairs bedrooms so this is probably of only passing interest to most of you. However, if you happen to stop and she’s still around, let me know if she’s still as smoking hot as I remember her or if I just had too much to drink at the Ashford Bar and Grill. That wraps up this installment of the Big However Many Of You There Are travelogue…Tune in next time when out destination will be Wisconsin. 15 Quote Link to comment
NUance Posted July 12, 2013 Share Posted July 12, 2013 lol. Big 10 road trip guide. Nice! Looking forward to the other nine. Eerr, eleven. Or however many teams we have now. Quote Link to comment
HuskerInLostWages Posted July 12, 2013 Share Posted July 12, 2013 Thanks Cy. As normal, another of your posts has me laughing my arse off. Quote Link to comment
huKSer Posted July 12, 2013 Share Posted July 12, 2013 I gave a rep point - then I bothered to read the post Quote Link to comment
Bradr Posted July 12, 2013 Share Posted July 12, 2013 I don't know where you come up with this stuff. But I approve. Quote Link to comment
huKSer Posted July 13, 2013 Share Posted July 13, 2013 I say everybody going to Minn drop by Cy's house in Ames for a free brewsky Quote Link to comment
Cy the Cyclone Posted July 14, 2013 Author Share Posted July 14, 2013 I say everybody going to Minn drop by Cy's house in Ames for a free brewsky Bring your football team along...would love the opportunity for a rematch. We have a new holder that doesn't throw like a girl.... Quote Link to comment
walksalone Posted July 15, 2013 Share Posted July 15, 2013 Minnesota Facts: State Rock – Husker Du FIFY Quote Link to comment
Count 'Bility Posted July 15, 2013 Share Posted July 15, 2013 I say everybody going to Minn drop by Cy's house in Ames for a free brewsky Bring your football team along...would love the opportunity for a rematch. We have a new holder that doesn't throw like a girl.... We'll make sure we remember these too.... Quote Link to comment
IllinoisHuskerFan Posted July 19, 2013 Share Posted July 19, 2013 That was great! Well done! Quote Link to comment
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