The Unwritten Rules of Memorial Stadium

[TheCropDuster]

Since we are 8 days from the start of the 2006 season, I thought we should compile a list of the unwritten rules of being a Husker fan on football Saturday in Lincoln. Here is a few that I came up with. Please add, subtract, do whatever makes you happy. Its almost time people!!!!

 

 

1. Wear red. For god sakes its called the “Sea of Red”, not the “Sea of Gray”, “Sea of White” or the “Sea of Old Navy Shirts”. But if you have trouble finding a red Husker shirt here’s a little tip that’ll help you out in finding one. Try, oh I don’t know, looking at almost EVERY SINGLE STORE IN THE STATE OF NEBRASKA!!! You can’t throw a dead cat without hitting a red Husker shirt. Hell I think your even given one when your either are born here or cross the border.

 

2. Stand up and make noise. Here is a simple mathematical formula. Loud noise + scared to death QB = Face mask into field turf with the possibility of some Chad May bitching. But here’s another formula you might want to keep in mind as well. Blue hair old lady that was a Bugeater fan before she was a Husker fan + telling you to sit down = Old lady looking at your backside the rest of the game as she remembers the glory days of Dana X. Bible. These two formulas will add up to one hell of a time.

 

3. Throw up the bones AND after a 3 & out, do the 3 & out symbol with your hand. If you don’t know what throwing up the bones or what the 3 & out hand gesture is, check your tickets and Husker gear in at the door and journey down to Craphatten and painfully purchase some god awful purple to become a woeful K-SUCKS fan.

 

4. Do two pre-game traditions; one old and one new. Touch the bottom of the foot of the elephant in front of Morrill Hall and touch the cleat of the last tackler in the statue just outside the east side of the stadium. You’ll feel like a dork and you’ll look like a dork but dammit, it has to be done.

 

5. Do not partake in the wave. God how I wish this completely uncool maneuver could have a disclaimer on the back of the ticket stud. “Bearer of this ticket shall not bring in any alcohol, firearms, throw things on the field and participate in the wave…”

 

6. Cheer all visiting teams out of the stadium except for one. That’s Colorado. They do not need to be cheered for anything, except for actually completing a full sentence without spitting out Coors Light backwash, marijuana residue and cousin splatter.

 

7. At halftime, go ahead and get your hot dog, go to the bathroom or accidentally spill some Jack Daniels into your Pepsi. The band hasn’t had an interesting performance since RFK almost became President. Just make sure that your back in time to politely clap them off the field and be ready for the second half.

[GSG]

Very nice. Two questions: 1. Where the heck is the elephant and/or Morrill Hall?? 2. Are they really "unwritten" rules if you just wrote them down??

[Blackshirtsguru]

Very nice. Two questions: 1. Where the heck is the elephant and/or Morrill Hall?? 2. Are they really "unwritten" rules if you just wrote them down??

[rocketlb]

Very nice. Two questions: 1. Where the heck is the elephant and/or Morrill Hall?? 2. Are they really "unwritten" rules if you just wrote them down??

How True....so this thread should actually be entitled "The Rules Formerly Known as the Unwritten Rules of Memorial Stadium."

[Silent Commit]

2. Are they really "unwritten" rules if you just wrote them down?? 

 

Good point!

 

I like the wave! But not in the fourth quarter when the game is all-but-over. I like when you have two waves going the opposite direction. That's cool! At least it's not the tomahawk chop.....geez I hate that.

 

Another rule is that everyone should be mandated to rent a stadium seat "cushion" - Not because it helps keep your #ss from getting sour sitting on the benches...but because it reserves your space so that you're not squeezed like a zit being popped.

[gamecocks]

8. If you are going to have a few beers while tailgating before the game, please remember that if you are too drunk to remember the game, don't bother going.

[johnny5]

I agree 100% on the seets.

[GSG]

This is off topic, but don't we have the awesomest smilies in the world???

 

[huskerhaze]

8. If you are going to have a few beers while tailgating before the game, please remember that if you are too drunk to remember the game, don't bother going.

People can always remind you what happened!

 

...or tape the game if it is on TV so you can watch it sober on some random Wednesday night...oh unless it's penny pitchers on Wednesday's you may have to wait for Thursday...except thursday is the official unofficial start of the weekend...so I guess watch the game drunk but try not to puke on anyone you don't know!

[Blackshirt]

I dont know where to start. That entire passage is utterly hilarious and borderline biblical. But I did have a couple favres...

 

-the wave rant --- spot on. but also dont forget the j-holes that get more excited for the tubular meat tosser than the game itself, and scramble for those meat rockets like a homeless elton john

-the random spilling of JD nto pepsi -- i have no idea how this happens but it seems to be an epidemic

 

Very well done CropDuster. That list should be on the back of t-shirts for all to read.

[AR Husker Fan]

I dont know where to start. That entire passage is utterly hilarious and borderline biblical. But I did have a couple favres...

 

-the wave rant --- spot on. but also dont forget the j-holes that get more excited for the tubular meat tosser than the game itself, and scramble for those meat rockets like a homeless elton john

-the random spilling of JD nto pepsi -- i have no idea how this happens but it seems to be an epidemic

 

Very well done CropDuster. That list should be on the back of t-shirts for all to read.

Mayhaps this needs to be the first official Husker article????

[Jarred04]

Morril hall is on the southwest corner of 14th and vine, right off of the parking lot of the stadium and directly across from the colliseum. If you are still having problems look for the largest bronze mammoth in the world. Its kinda hard to miss.

 

I have no problems with people buying seats to save spots, but lets try to remain standing during the game.

[CENTEXHUSKER]

 

6. Cheer all visiting teams out of the stadium except for one. That’s Colorado. They do not need to be cheered for anything, except for actually completing a full sentence without spitting out Coors Light backwash, marijuana residue and cousin splatter.

Coors Light backwash? Cousin splatter?

 

I had to wait 10 minutes after reading this before I could respond, because I was too busy holding my sides and catching my breath. Flipping hilarious

 

[Aim9]

In my experience, people don't even bother spilling their JD into their Pepsi- they just go with the JD straight up. I've cleaned the stadium before and one would not believe the number of liquor bottles left behind after the game- ESPECIALLY in the student section. How people have managed to smuggle in 1.75s of vodka is somewhat bewildering, but they do it every game. Lots of them. I give them a proper tip of the hat, but my drink of choice on gameday is beer. Watching a game without beer is like eating cake without frosting.

[GSG]