My Way In The Future NU-ISU Prediction

Cy the Cyclone · May 7, 2009

As a public safety announcement to help prevent unneeded headlong dives off of interstate overpasses after a humiliating loss and as my latest attempt to remove the rose-colored glasses that are seemingly affixed to your low brows, I will explain to you (using small words so those from Cozad will understand) for the final time precisely why the Iowa State Cyclones are destined to storm to victory over the Cornhuskers in Lincoln this year…

First of all…for those of you who are unfortunate enough to know me, you need to realize that I am NEVER wrong. I thought I was wrong once, but I was mistaken (by the way, if God is all powerful can he create a rock so heavy he, himself, cannot lift it…my minister HATES it when I ask him that)…so you can take the following as gospel (see how I cleverly tie this into the apparent nonsensical question above? I am such a literary guy I scare myself).

So…since I’m sure none….NONE….of you follow Iowa State football in much depth (no respect I tell you…we’re the Rodney Dangerfield of Big 12 football), I will break it all down for you by position:

Quarterback – At this time, ISU has a huge advantage over NU based on experience and, yes, results. Lee may prove to be the greatest QB in NU history but, at this time, that remains to be seen. For the present, Arnaud set a school record for most completions in a season and had the third best completion percentage in ISU history (and this includes guys like Archer, Rosenfelds and Wallace). He also ran for over 400 yards. The knock on Arnaud is that he doesn’t seem to make the most intelligent decisions…which is totally off-base since most of the decisions were made by Chizek…the real retard.

Advantage – ISU

Running Back – I’ll combine HB/FB here since it’s always a surprise whether either team actually has a fullback or not. NU looks pretty decent here with Helu and Castille rushing for over 800 yards each. Both fullbacks are gone however…not that it matters as little as they were used to run the ball. Helu catches better so I assume he’ll be the NU go-to guy. ISU counters with Alexander Robinson who managed to rush 700+ yards. Schwartz, a true freshman this year, is going to be a monster…but not this year.

Advantage – NU

Wide Receiver-Tight End – Obviously ISU has this position in the bag. I like McNeil and am glad he got used more as the year progressed, but I still haven’t seen anything that is going to convince me that Holt or Paul (or the host of new guys) are going to be able to pick up all the slack from Peterson and Swift. ISU is bringing back four guys that caught 20 or more passes at WR along with three tight ends that are actually pretty decent receivers in 2008. There will be a lot of short stuff to them this year.

Advantage – ISU

Offensive Line – The Huskers lost Murtha and Slauson…and the right side of that line is going to be hard to replace. I like Hickman who follows the tradition of extremely good centers at Nebraska. The left side of the line should be better with a year under their belt...though I’m still a bit leery of Williams. ISU is returning their entire offensive line…and they weren’t as offensive as usual either. Surprisingly, they only allowed 19 sacks and actually improved opening up holes for the running game (if only they would have had more than one running back). Seven linemen who started games will be back. They’ve played together and know what to expect. This should be a decent group.

Advantage – ISU

Defensive Line – The Husker defensive front, even without Steinkuhler and Potter, is still better than what ISU can throw out there. Frankly, if Suh was the only one out there, NU’s line would STILL be better than what ISU has to offer. Hopefully Crick won’t get to play because no one from Cozad should ever get to play. The Cyclones…well…they have three starters from a crap line coming back who will hopefully improve just by the fact that they aren’t being coached by an itinerate farm worker.…Lyle at one end is pretty decent but Parker on the other side is questionable. At least this year the coaching staff has told them to attack the ball and not just plug gaps.

Advantage – NU

Linebackers – ISU brings back all three of their starters…which isn’t saying a whole lot since they were burned with alarming frequency…but that was due more to the fact of Chizek playing “Cover One” 99% of the time. Gee…how did any of the opponents ever figure that one out? How Chizek ever got a “Defensive Genius” logo to go on his cap, I’ll never know. Regardless...the ISU guys will hit you hard, if they can catch you. Speed is not a strong point of the ISU backers. NU has good talent but are going to have to go through some rebuilding. One word of warning though…ISU has been looking at running some crap defenses like a 4-2-5 (last year Chizek ran a 4-4-5 but the refs noticed and threw a flag)…nonsense like that, in order to get more speed on the field. That gimmicky crap can sometimes surprise somebody…especially if it works (which it probably won’t but…you have been warned)

Advantage – Even

Secondary – I think ISU has NU here too. I like Asante and I think everybody was way too hard on West last year. He’ll look better this year…but, as a whole, I think the NU secondary is going to be a weakness. ISU’s entire secondary is back and they might even know more than one basic coverage this year! Leonard Johnson is going to be ISU’s next Ellis Hobbs. Receivers know when he hits them…so do some of the refs. Most of these guys were true freshmen last year (freshmen starters are to good college football teams what Gene Chizek is to good college football coaching) who got lots of real-time experience.

Advantage - ISU

Special Teams – With NCAA record setter Johnson returning kicks, Brandtner returning as a good punter (3rd in the Big 12…why is it that ISU always has real good punters?) and Mahonney finally giving ISU a guy who doesn’t make every PAT an adventure) ISU is set pretty well. Henery is great, no doubt, but I don’t know who you’ll have punting the ball. Paul’s a decent return guy but Swift will really be missed here

Advantage – ISU

Coaching Staff – Gee…you think NU has an advantage here? Rhoads actually seems like a pretty good motivator (and he loaned me a dollar for the soda machine the other day) and a decent guy. I think the players will want to win for him unlike with Chizek who was not universally loved on the sideline. Doesn’t mean they will though. Rhoads is no Pelini…Yet

Advantage – NU

Other – Playing at Memorial sucks if you are ISU…playing on the road sucks if you are ISU…USC look-alike uniforms are scary to NU. Cy can kick Lil Red’s ass. ISU band better than NU band. ISU cheerleaders have better mustaches than NU cheerleaders…except the guys.

Advantage – Even

Final Tally

ISU – 5

NU – 3

Even – 2

Final Score - Cyclones 35 - Huskers 21!!!!!

So there you have it…ISU over NU in 2009!!! Unless NU happens to get both those “even” things…in which case it would probably be a loss for ISU…and since a couple of those “even” things are kinda big, like the home field advantage…the futility of ISU on the road…probably need to adjust the points here a little bit...maybe give the Huskers, say five more touchdowns and take a couple away from the Clones.... <_<

Hell…I just typed this whole thing for nothing… :angry:

Apathy · May 7, 2009

Cy you need to post a picture of yourself so I know who I'm laughing at :lol:

TXHSKR · May 7, 2009

:waste

2:30 p.m. and already drinking way to go CY!!!!

:LOLtartar

HuskerInLostWages · May 7, 2009

Cy,

thank you man, after lunch I really needed a nice laugh. I don't know how you come up with all of this, but sure glad that you do. :clap :clap :clap :nanalama :clap :clap :clap