Cy the Cyclone

Paul Rhodes. You'll still lose but it will be a lot more amusing!

I learned that I would really like to play you guys this year.

I once saw a house fly

These guys

October 24th, 2009 ring a bell?

I just got this e-mail from Jim Delaney after I expressed my feelings about the scheduling change. Hello Cy and thank you for your thoughts...no, actually, I really don't care what your thoughts, or, for that matter, the Nebraska fan base, are because I make millions of dollars and what you think doesn't matter to me or the Big 10. If Ohio State or Michigan were to have a problem with our schedules you can be damn sure we would be quick to rectify it. That's where the millions come from to pay my salary and outrageous bonus...but Nebraska? I hate to tell you this but in this conference all schools get an equal say...except for Ohio State, Michigan, Michigan State (during basketball season) and Penn State. If we allowed you to keep your Black Friday game then we would have to let all the other inconsequential schools keep their silly little traditions too! That might take the focus off of Ohio State and Michigan and I would not receive as many millions or outrageous bonuses. Frankly Cy, Nebraska needs to realize they are in the Big 10 now. Any traditions or achievements they had in that other conference no longer exist. WE are your Lord now and you will meekly submit and do as you are told. In this conference you are no more special than Illinois or Minnesota or those two schools from those little states over on the east coast who I always forget about. in closing...I have a brand new Lexus and a private jet so don't e-mail me again Sincerely Jim Delany

Fire the guy who thought it was a good idea to leave the Big 12...

While I was on my way to Walmart to get a new TV to replace the one I just put my foot through on Saturday, I came to a sudden realization...Sometimes you just lose. That's it... The offense can have a near perfect game. Your defense can play way over their heads. You can even have a nearly flawless game plan but, sometimes you still lose. I'm only saying this because I still haven't found the perfect reason why the Cyclones lost to those god damn Hawkeyes again. Guess I'm going with either they cheated, Russian interference or God Damn Kids These Days! Other than that, I got nothing...

I am shocked with all the gloom in this thread. This is OREGON we're talking about here. Yeah... I know it starts with the same letter as real football teams like Ohio State or Oklahoma but it's OREGON! We're talking an unproven defense that can't stop a run...an unproven QB...a team with no tradition other than being Nike's free advertising bitch boy. Worst of all...they are in the PAC whatever number it is now! Any self respecting, hard nosed, grind it out football fan from flyover country should be confident that our corn fed, Midwestern farm boys will march into their house and kick those dope smoking hippies all the way off the side of the left coast. Hell...ain't Duck hunting one of our favorite pastimes out here? Nothing like blasting a defenseless Duck out of sky to make a guy feeling good. Now go out there...suck it up and grind that ball on the ground over and over and over, until their defense caves in like cheap toilet paper and their offense starts crying cuz they never get the ball so they can pose for their PAC 42, or whatever it is now, buddies in Los Angeles and the morons at ESPN have to try to figure out where Nebraska is so they can put it back on the college football map. Go Cyclo...uh...Huskers!

I would say the Cyclones beat Iowa by 10 but that's a given Fresno State scores against Alabama New Hampshire - Georgia Southern game is cancelled due to lack of interest Rutgers vs Eastern Michigan game is postponed after Chris Christy sits down and the Stadium tips over Charlotte defeats Kansas State after Bill Snyder accidentally steps into the daylight and crumbles to ashes. Oklahoma thrashes Ohio State just because... Some pretty bold stuff right there...

Of course the Cyclones will stomp Iowa...for the following reasons Our coach bears a striking resemblance to Adam Sandler Our QB bears a striking resemblance to Jesus Our QB went from playing in a church touch football league to starting QB for a Power 5 team in two years Our starting QB from last year is now our starting MLB Our receivers are all over 6'5"...Iowa's DBs are all under 5'6" Our stadium TV is bigger We have free Wi-Fi Our mascot is cooler and some other football stuff and things....

Hi Zoogs. How you been? Tuff Tiger...poster child for early onset Alzheimer's. He's sitting in a home right now telling everybody he's Blaine Gabbert...

Hello Huskers! I know you have all missed my amazingly insightful posts over the past few years but I have returned with many gifts of good news which will help bouy up your spirits concerning the current football season that has just begun! 1. Iowa State is still undefeated. 2. Iowa State sits atop the Big 12 Conference...alphabetically. 3. Iowa State is still in the running for the National Title 4. Texas has pretty much been eliminated from winning the National Title 5. The entire state of Texas has pretty much been eliminated from winning National Title 6. Iowa looked very average beating a severely overhyped Wyoming team 7. Iowa State shall demolish Iowa next weekend, removing them from contention for a conference title There was some other stuff but I forgot what it was. Meanwhile...I was able to see most of the Husker game Saturday but missed some of the 2nd half cuz we were on stage and there was this nice looking blonde with big boobs and...well...you know how it is. The main thing I took away from it was that your Corners better learn to shed blocks a little more aggressively or you'll be looking at that stupid flat screen all year AND if you have to play a 3-4, you need to find a hybrid linebacker in the old Randy White mold to make it effective or you're gonna get shelled. The 3-4 will work if you flex to present unpredictably but playing it straight up for an entire game is just asking for exploitation. Have a nice week. There will always be a place for you in the Big 12 when you come to your senses. Apparently we still have a couple extra numbers.

Barry Swtzer Mark Mangino or wait till Bill Snyder retires at the end of the year and offer to name your stadium after him if he'll unretire to coach Nebraska

I can defiantly say Nebraska is losing its' fan base...and I am not saying that as a Cyclone or Big 12 homer but as a guy who grew up a fan of Husker football and who was once laughed at by Turner Gill for my tackling prowess on special teams during one of the annual Husker-Cyclone beat downs of the early 80s. Nebraska, like it or not, was always perceived by the people I knew as a true blue collar team...tough, all business and no nonsense. They generally had the respect in not admiration of the rest of the conference. They played the best grind it out, in your face midwest football. Those pussies at Ohio State or USC or wherever could play their weenie brand of football but everyone in the Midwest knew that Nebraska would chew that sissy bunch of crap up and spit it out. The Huskers were the heroes of the Heartland...home of REAL football. Then...Nebraska decided maybe the money and prestige of the Big 10 should trump tradition and rivalry. Maybe instead of trying to handle the Evil Empire of Oklahoma in another chapter of one of the greatest rivalries know to football, it would be a better option to play the tradition rich Iowa Hawkeyes. That decision lost Nebraska a lot of its' casual fan base and...I'm willing to bet...also lost a good percentage of loyal fans who decided a heated game against Indiana didn't quite stack up against a traditional showdown with K-State. So...having given up the unofficial mantle of The Forces Of Good in the Big 12, what else could you do to alienate some more fans? Well...Nebraska did a real good job of hanging a couple of fellow conference members out to dry when they jumped...waving goodbye and telling them the WAC would be glad to have them. I know many people who were solid Husker fans in Iowa and in Kansas who pretty much don't care whether you play or not anymore. Seems kind of unfortunate in hindsight that the Big 12 is going strong without you (even though I do wonder sometimes if the WAC would be a good fit...but then a stomping of Texas brings me back to my senses). Seriously...you've lost the respect of your old conference fans, a lot of your most loyal fans are getting up in years, newer fans have no idea about Nebraska tradition...and you play a boring brand of football that everyone else does but not as well...

Abandoned by a tube sock yet I, the greatest supporter of all things Iowa State, stick with you through thick and thin. Having the privileged position I have in within the NCAA, I too have unimpeachable sources...REAL sources...and can answer all questions with surprising accuracy. Don't believe me? Here is a free sample to a question someone asked me about Texas yesterday: Q: Hey Cy! Texas sucks this year...can I get a smoke off you? A: Go buy your own and get the f$&k away from me. REAL answers to REAL questions

Obviously...Dan McCarney. Has Big 10 pedigree with Iowa and Wisconsin. Has worked under guys like Alvarez and Fry. Has head coaching experience in the Big 12 and actually had success at ISU. Main emphasis has always been O and D lines and has a history of getting the most out of what he has to work with...and he's available and probably cheap.

Miss the Big 12? Try sitting in Ames and saying that. I miss playing a team that isn't ranked in the top 25 some weekend...or whose offense isn't ranked as one of the top 5 in the country...or a team who isn't undefeated. That's what I miss. Try losing to Iowa (7-0), Toledo (7-0), TCU (7-0), Texas Tech (5-2) and Baylor (7-0). The Big 12 is brutal on average teams. Well...at least we have Oklahoma and OK State to look forward to...along with Texas, K-State and West Virginia. Our season was over after the Kansas game (coincidently...so was Kansas' season). Thank the football Gods that you are where you are.

Done??? Don't you fools know you're NEVER done in the BIG 10. It's the BIG 10! Nobody is ever done in this conference. Look at Iowa...Northwestern...even Minnesota for god's sake! This isn't like your old conference where three or four good teams crushed 8 crappy ones. Your conference is stocked with lots of mediocre teams where anyone can earn the honor of being crushed by Ohio State. Done....meh

Don't know why anyone would complain about this game at all. Two evenly matched teams playing on a beautiful day before a packed house leading to the most exciting finish of the day...maybe even the year. BYU is tough...this wasn't Troy or Arkansas State you were playing here...and there's no embarrassment losing to a team like BYU. Best game of the day (excepting the one I worked at). Should be easy to build off of

He got one of the "preferred walk on" offers at ISU...which means for the next couple of months he'll be getting his ass kicked at my expense and by October he'll probably be starting on the line somewhere and getting his ass kicked by other teams...at my expense. Two things for certain...ass kicked and expense. Story of my life. We already have Iowa beat this year. They just don't know it yet.

...and not just the team to beat in the Big 12, but the team to slaughter. If you simply paste the Cyclones, you still don't get enough upside to make the playoffs...just ask TCU about that. With that in mind, here is a handy preview of your favorite red-headed step brother's football chances in your former conference which you formerly routinely won back in the day Jack Trice Stadium will be rocking this year...and not just because of shoddy corner cutting construction methods used during the building of our brand new addition. The Jack used to be a cold and drafty little dump but now it's a cold and drafty bigger dump. The new addition is a big plus for ISU, allowing inebriated fans room to pass out after a hard morning of tailgating. Jack Trice also features the biggest Jumbotron east of the Nishnabotna river so that injured and suspended players will be able to watch the game in comfort without the hassle of leaving the bench. It will be almost like being at home...where I assume most fans will be by halftime. Now...ISU has been busy on the recruiting trail all year looking for quality players and after the annual disappointment of not being able to get any, managed to come up with the usual collection of Juco, foreign and Amish kids to fill out their roster. Here's a preview of this year's team: QB: The starting QB is 0-15 against conference opponents over the past three years. His backup has not thrown a pass in a game since his senior year in high school...two years ago. Opponents are surely quaking in their cleats...especially Iowa RB: The two projected starters have been thrown off the team for thinking they would be the two projected starters. Of the remaining choices, the best seem to be one guy who has the vast experience of 24 total carries in his college football career, a guy coming back from an ACL tear and another guy who accidently shot himself through the hand over the summer. Not a lot going for this group...be probably enough to beat Iowa. WR: An embarassment of riches here...except the guy who got kicked off the team who was just embarassing. Big, fast, good moves. Perfect for the Mangino "One Step Drop and Throw It To The Nearest Sideline For A Gain Of One Yard...Two If The First Guy Misses" offense. This was designed specifically so Mangino would not have to jog far for the next play...and the officials love it as it saves them a lot of running...just enough to wear out Iowa. OL: Our starting center is the starting tackle who had to move to center when the center we got from a junior college ended up having trouble being a center and had to move to guard to replace the guard who moved to tackle to replace the tackle who moved to the other guard to replace the back-up center who is now a tackle....and programs are still $5.00 so get your money ready. You can tell these guys are all disciples of Mangino. All are fat and don't move well. The line was designed on the "Magellan" principle of circumnavigation...travel around a large enough body and you're too exhausted to celebrate...especially if you play for Iowa DL: Iowa State has put together the best Junior College defensive line in all of NOT Junior College football....unfortunately, Iowa Western, DMACC and Coffeyville don't seem to be on the schedule this year. But Iowa is, so these guys should look like winners in at least one game. LB: When you have a linebacking group that consists of guys that were too light to play on the DL and too slow to play in the defensive backfield...you got problems. ISU however does feature one linebacker with the best beard in all of the Big 12 and another who has had four hips. Not many teams can come close to competing with that...not even Iowa DB: Our starting and best CB is NOT paralyzed...he just looks that way sometimes. Our other CB has the same name as our QB but you can tell them apart by the fact that one of them has actually played in a conference game that ISU has won...and throws the ball better. Overall...when you look at the ISU defensive backs compared to other defensive backfields around the country you begin to wonder why they aren't all pointing to the Yellow Brick Road...which Iowa will be following with their heads hanging in defeat. There you have the 2015 Iowa State Cyclones! Thank you and have a nice day

Obviously Iowa State would be a perfect Home & Home choice. As I recall, the last two times we met, the Huskers fumbled away an embarassing one at home and then barely squeeked out a win in Ames because we had a holder that threw like a girl. Not to mention that we suckered you into taking our less than stellar line coach and his silly zone blocking technique (though we did kinda want to keep his kids over here) and stuck you with that albatross for a few years. We have a new stadium and a huge fan base of obviously demented fans (how else would you explain support for a new stadium for a team with this history of success) who like to drink a lot. We also have an amusing AD who likes to be fined by the NCAA for insulting officiating and hinting at conspiracies along with a coach who is SO PROUD... Plus it's close enough that most of the players could probably drive over in their own cars and then be back in Lincoln in time to eat a late Runza before the sun goes down. Not to mention that the Cyclones have become of favorite of the Fox Sports Network and seem to enjoy broadcasting our weekly beat-downs nationwide so that all the country can collectively say "There, but by the grace of God, goes my football team". Anyway, you could use the easy win against a team from a BCS conference and we could use the money. Now, wait while I copy this, replace all references to Cyclones with Jayhawks and post it again as a Kansas fan....

I think Roger Craig should count as home grown...I mean Iowa is just Nebraska with trees and you can actually see Memorial Stadium from Davenport if the light is just right. Also Todd Frain who was from Treynor (and got his ass kicked by yours truely through four years of high school...said no one ever) which is actually just a suburb of Omaha. I mean, really...have you ever heard anyone in the history of the United States say..."Oh yeah...I moved to that thriving village of Treynor, Iowa to advance my career in feed store management." No...they live there so they can drive to Omaha to go to work and then go back to Treynor to produce giant children...

You think ISU will get Gregg Marshall? No I'm hoping Dana Altman but I'm betting it will be Tim Floyd. Oh well...the season tickets weren't THAT expensive....