'Mansplaining'

[teachercd]

Just now, B.B. Hemingway said:

 

Meh, my original comment was made 'tongue-in-cheek'. 

 

Though, like the mansplaining thing, I don't find either one of their transgressions to be that big of a deal. What he said was rude, and kind of dumb. But that's it. As for her? I don't really care what she retweets to be honest. I laugh at racist jokes all the time. Even the one's made at my expense. Things are funny if you allow them to be. Her laughing at a racist joke doesn't make her racist, and him making a demeaning (i guess?) comment about women doesn't mean he has no respect for them. 

 

 

How DARE YOU, sir.  How dare you laugh!

[zoogs]

Though, like the mansplaining thing, I don't find either one of their transgressions to be that big of a deal. 

 

This isn't a virtue, though. I hope you can see why the Cam issue was a big deal -- and why it should be.

 

demeaning (i guess?)

 

At this point it could only be said that you try really hard to be completely blind to the things that women find demeaning. I hope it's a phase that passes. 

[B.B. Hemingway]

10 minutes ago, zoogs said:

 

 

 

At this point it could only be said that you try really hard to be completely blind to the things that women find demeaning. I hope it's a phase that passes. 

 

I take issue with this for a couple reasons.

1) I'm happily married, and have the utmost respect for my wife. No big decision in our house is made without consulting her, and getting her approval.

2) I have two daughters. Anything that impacts them in this world indirectly impacts me. I am their unchallenged, biggest fan.

 

When I look at these types of situations (Cam's remarks to the reporter) I try and put myself in her place and ask myself how I'd feel. So, if a woman said to me "When men talk about the burden of parenthood, it just makes me laugh. They have no idea what mothers go through", or "When men talk about what decor to use throughout the house *hahahaha*"...... How would I feel? I wouldn't really care. I might roll my eyes. But I wouldn't expect half the country to come to my defense (not that she expected that). 

 

I can't speak for every woman, but I honestly think (know) you're more worried about it than any of the women I know. I haven't seen it mentioned once in my FB news feed (where I have 100's of women friends). 

[zoogs]

Perhaps you should be looking at the reaction from the female journalism community (as one of many possible examples) and then ask yourself why you remain so committed to dismissing their voices -- or really, dismissing any voices in this arena that speaks up.

 

 

[B.B. Hemingway]

6 minutes ago, zoogs said:

Perhaps you should be looking at the reaction from the female journalism community (as one of many possible examples) and then ask yourself why you remain so committed to dismissing their voices -- or really, dismissing any voices in this arena that speaks up.

 

 

 

When did I dismiss their voices? I'm a 1st Amendment absolutist. They are free to say what they want. I understand why they're upset. I just happen to think they're overreacting.

 

One man's opinion doesn't make your presence in your profession illegitimate. Cam suggested women may not understand route trees......... Yeah. One man. With a dumb opinion. 

 

You (and many others) try to be empathize, when sympathizing would do just fine.

[zoogs]

It's really quite amazing how you manage to find every way around the issue itself. This isn't about their First Amendment rights and never was.

[zoogs]

Watch Cam's apology now. It seems heartfelt, and also that he gets it. 

 

"Don't be like me. Be better than me."

 

That's why the reaction was exactly necessary.

[teachercd]

Just now, zoogs said:

Watch Cam's apology now. It seems heartfelt, and also that he gets it. 

 

"Don't be like me. Be better than me."

 

That's why the reaction was exactly necessary.

I think a lot of people can learn from that.  Don't you?

[Landlord]

5 minutes ago, B.B. Hemingway said:

 

When did I dismiss their voices?... I understand why they're upset. I just happen to think they're overreacting.

 

 

 

I think he meant dismiss as in you don't seem to take them very seriously. But you essentially just admitted that your perspective is, "The people actually effected by ____________ are overreacting and I don't really regard their opinions highly, whereas I, myself, someone who doesn't have first hand knowledge of said ___________, know better."

 

As far as you imagining what it would be like if your wife made fun of you for decorating or whatever, the only thing you have to lose by someone not taking you seriously is the possibility of getting your feelings hurt. That is not true when you swap the gender roles.

 

 

[Landlord]

Cam Newton:

 

"After careful thought, I understand that my word choice was extremely degrading and disrespectful to women, and to be honest that was not my intentions, and, if you are a person who took offense to what I said, I sincerely apologize to you. I'm a man who tries to be a positive role model in my community and tries to use my platform to inspire others. And I take ownership to everything that comes with that. And what I did was extremely unacceptable. I'm a father to two beautiful daughters, and at their age, I try to instill to them that they can do and be anything that they want to be. The fact that during this whole process I've already lost sponsors and countless fans, I realize that the joke is really on me, and I have learned a valuable lesson from this, and to the young people who see this, I hope that you learn something from this as well: Don't be like me, be better than me.

 

To the reporters, to the journalists, to the moms, supermoms, to the daughters, the sisters and the women all around the world, I sincerely apologize and hope that you can find the kindness in your heart to forgive me. Thank you."

 

B.B. Hemingway:
 
"lol what a misogynist am i rite guys... but really it's not a big deal, women and liberals just overreact to this stuff"

 

[B.B. Hemingway]

1 minute ago, Landlord said:

 

 

 

I think he meant dismiss as in you don't seem to take them very seriously. But you essentially just admitted that your perspective is, "The people actually effected by ____________ are overreacting and I don't really regard their opinions highly, whereas I, myself, someone who doesn't have first hand knowledge of said ___________, know better."

 

You guys really are incredible.

 

You're right, it's impossible to for me to place myself in that benign scenario. You're putting words in my mouth. I never said I didn't appreciate their anger. I actually said, I understand why their angry.

 

What could she lose in this situation? Is Cam's comment going to end her career? We both know that notion is s#!t.  You could argue (and I will) that this will help her progress in her profession. Now, I'm not saying that makes what Cam said any less unnecessary. Nor am I saying that she owes him anything (because you were probably going to accuse me of suggesting that). She works in a profession surrounded by apologists. She's going to be fine.

 

 

 

 

[zoogs]

Quote

I actually said, I understand why their angry.

 

You might've stopped here or branched off into a different direction than the rest of your actual words. Which is the actual thing that's incredible here.

 

I'm not interested in attacking your character, but it's important that you know this. 

 

I mean, wow, at this point you're actually saying "He didn't destroy her career" (is that the threshold?) with an ugly side of "her career may benefit from this publicity", and that the people around her are "apologists". Yeesh. That's pretty f'd up, man.

 

 

[Landlord]

6 minutes ago, B.B. Hemingway said:

What could she lose in this situation? Is Cam's comment going to end her career? We both know that notion is s#!t. 

 

 

 

No, it's not. This is how things like sexism work. A male reporter asks him about route trees, this doesn't ever happen. A female reporter did, and you think it isn't a big deal, but then he laughs and fu#*$ up in response. Then it becomes news. Then people go searching 5 years back in her social media history to try and find ammo on her because it's her fault that Cam Newton is losing sponsorships. Then the social media mob goes berserk on her, for 3 possibly slightly racist (I don't think so, personally) tweets from five years ago, that have nothing to do with the actual issue.

 

There's more than a decent chance that she will lose her job because of the scrutiny that the Charlotte Observer will now be under because of those tweets (thousands of responses to her football reporting tweets calling for her job, people saying they're writing her boss, having to delete her linkedin, etc.), and the only reason those tweets were known about by anyone other than maybe a handful of her college friends from back in 2012 is because she was a woman asking a question and being laughed at. 

 

It is a big deal because we live in a world where the consequence of Cam Newton's sexism (a mistake, and forgiven, but still sexism) might be the career of the woman who was doing her job and did nothing wrong. 

[B.B. Hemingway]

3 minutes ago, Landlord said:

Cam Newton:

 

"After careful thought, I understand that my word choice was extremely degrading and disrespectful to women, and to be honest that was not my intentions, and, if you are a person who took offense to what I said, I sincerely apologize to you. I'm a man who tries to be a positive role model in my community and tries to use my platform to inspire others. And I take ownership to everything that comes with that. And what I did was extremely unacceptable. I'm a father to two beautiful daughters, and at their age, I try to instill to them that they can do and be anything that they want to be. The fact that during this whole process I've already lost sponsors and countless fans, I realize that the joke is really on me, and I have learned a valuable lesson from this, and to the young people who see this, I hope that you learn something from this as well: Don't be like me, be better than me.

 

To the reporters, to the journalists, to the moms, supermoms, to the daughters, the sisters and the women all around the world, I sincerely apologize and hope that you can find the kindness in your heart to forgive me. Thank you."

 

 

 

B.B. Hemingway:

 

"lol what a misogynist am i rite guys... but really it's not a big deal, women and liberals just overreact to this stuff"

 

Liberals overreact to this stuff. If you were paying attention (instead of cherry-picking portions of my comments) you would of seen where that I never seen it mentioned by any of the women I am friends with on Facebook. 

 

Imagine if it was Tom Brady (or any other white QB).

 

Landlord:

 

"He clearly has no respect for women. Poor Giselle. Imagine what says to her in private (sniffles). Guise, if he hates women that much imagine what he thinks of our black brothers. HAVE ANOTHER HELPING OF THAT WHITE PRIVILEGE, TOM! (tears)".

[B.B. Hemingway]

3 minutes ago, Landlord said:

 

 

 

No, it's not. This is how things like sexism work. A male reporter asks him about route trees, this doesn't ever happen. A female reporter did, and you think it isn't a big deal, but then he laughs and fu#*$ up in response. Then it becomes news. Then people go searching 5 years back in her social media history to try and find ammo on her because it's her fault that Cam Newton is losing sponsorships. Then the social media mob goes berserk on her, for 3 possibly slightly racist (I don't think so, personally) tweets from five years ago, that have nothing to do with the actual issue.

 

There's more than a decent chance that she will lose her job because of the scrutiny that the Charlotte Observer will now be under because of those tweets (thousands of responses to her football reporting tweets calling for her job, people saying they're writing her boss, having to delete her linkedin, etc.), and the only reason those tweets were known about by anyone other than maybe a handful of her college friends from back in 2012 is because she was a woman asking a question and being laughed at. 

 

It is a big deal because we live in a world where the consequence of Cam Newton's sexism (a mistake, and forgiven, but still sexism) might be the career of the woman who was doing her job and did nothing wrong. 

 

It'd be shame if she did. I still don't think it'll happen.