The Great Big List of Husker Fan Excuses

[knapplc]

One off-hand comment about nine wins got me thinking - we have tons of excuses for Husker Problems. They date back decades. Lately we've separated ourselves into a couple of camps (E or I), but that's just the most recent stuff. There's tons more.

 

So many more that we really need to organize them. We need a list, like the Rules of the Internet (NSFW), the most famous of which is probably Rule 34 (If it exists, there's pr0n of it).

 

Basically, you can sit around bickering about Taylor Martinez and Bo's departure to Miami or you can help with this list. Don't be a chump. Chip in.

 

The list so far (in no particular order - numbers are for reference only):

 

Excuse 1 - It's Bill Callahan's Fault

Excuse 2 - :01 second

Excuse 3 - We should be back in the Big XII.

Excuse 4 - Bo Pelini inherited a wrecked ship, Osborne inherited a team that had won two national championships.

Excuse 5 - The cameras always focus on Bo.

Excuse 6 - Tape-gate.

Excuse 7 - Bill Callahan didn't wear Nebraska gear to a presser once.

Excuse 8 - Aaron Green didn't get a fair chance. Neither did Cody Green. It's not easy being Green.

Excuse 9 - #9wins

Excuse 10 - Harvey Perlman meddles in the program too much.

Excuse 11 - Taylor Martinez is the best quarterback to ever play for Nebraska.

Excuse 12 - It's the defense.

Excuse 13 - Too many 11am games.

Excuse 14 - Tim Miles is better at social media than Bo.

Excuse 15 - Hire Scott Frost.

Excuse 16 - Barney Cotton is the root of all our woes.

Excuse 17 - A player said something on twitter.

Excuse 18 - We're not the greatest fans.

Excuse 19 - Shawn Eichorst doesn't support Bo.

Excuse 20 - That booster said something once.

Excuse 21 - Bo only hires his friends

Excuse 22 - Stars don't matter.

Excuse 23 - The backups don't get enough playing time.

Excuse 24 - ESPN sucks and/or hates us.

Excuse 25 - The Media hates us.

Excuse 26 - Signing small classes hurt your rankings

Excuse 27 - Large recruiting classes have more lower-ranked players and hurts your rankings

Excuse 28 - We need to run the Option more.

Excuse 29 - We need to pass it more.

Excuse 30 - We need to run it more.

Excuse 31 - Tim Beck!!!!!!

Excuse 32 - We don't use the Fullback anymore

Excuse 33 - Callahan killed the Walk-On program

Excuse 34 - Does Bo ever take a good picture?

Excuse 35 - We should have kept Shawn Watson

Excuse 36 - Bring back Marvin Sanders!

Excuse 37 - That Penn State player was out of bounds.

Excuse 38 - Suh got robbed of the Heisman

Excuse 39 - Tommie Frazier got robbed of the Heisman

Excuse 40 - That Florida State player fumbled at the goal line.

Excuse 41 - We play more games now

Excuse 42 - We don't have enough night games

Excuse 43 - Our schedule is too weak.

Excuse 44 - The southern schools never play in the cold

Excuse 45 - All our bowl games are played in the opponents' home stadiums

Excuse 46 - The SEC oversigns

Excuse 47 - Our Offensive Coordinator/Defensive Coordinator is terrible

Excuse 48 - Our linebackers coach is terrible

Excuse 49 - Our offensive line coach is terrible

Excuse 50 - Other teams have a quarterbacks coach. Why don't we have a quarterbacks coach?

Excuse 51 - I'd rather do things the right way with quality guys and lose a few than be like the SEC

Excuse 52 - It's hard to recruit southern kids to a cold-weather school

Excuse 53 - Nebraska doesn't have an ocean/beaches

Excuse 54 - Too far from home (or anything actually)

Excuse 55 - The Administration doesn't support Bo so we can't land big-time recruits

Excuse 56 - We don't spend enough on recruiting so we can't land big-time recruits

Excuse 57 - We need a bigger recruiting staff to land big-time recruits

Excuse 58 - We can't recruit in Texas because we moved to the Big Ten

Excuse 59 - Missouri, Kansas and/or Kansas State are better therefore we can't steal as many recruits from those areas

Excuse 60 - Nebraska talent is not what it once was

Excuse 61 - Nebraska HS offenses no longer fit the Huskers scheme which hurts our numbers

Excuse 62 - We suck at basketball, so there's not a big game for visiting recruits in January

Excuse 63 - Omaha is the closest major airport, so flights in are a logistical nightmare

Excuse 64 - We don't cheat/oversign/pay the players

Excuse 65 - It's easier to get into another school academically

Excuse 66 - There is too much pressure from the fans' unrealistic expectations!

Excuse 67 - The top of the student section is empty.

Excuse 68 - The blue hairs don't stand up and cheer.

Excuse 69 - The stadium sound system sucks.

Excuse 70 - Callahan left the cupboard bare for Bo in 2008

Excuse 71 - Dirk Chatelain wrote a trolling article

Excuse 72 - Our Strength & Conditioning / Dobson is subpar

Excuse 73 - The players read these boards and our negativity affects them

Excuse 74 - Coach Brown is too preachy

Excuse 75 - We lose when we wear alternate uniforms

Excuse 76 - If you think/say/do/don't do ___________ you aren't a true fan.

Excuse 77 - Steve Pederson

Excuse 78 - The Refs hate us

Excuse 79 - The Defense / Offense / whole team gave up

Excuse 80 - They came to win, not to play the game

Excuse 81 - Callahan closed the door to former players

Excuse 82 - We can't / won't / don't make adjustments

Excuse 83 - Bo's dog house

Excuse 84 - The refs won't call holding on our opponents

Excuse 85 - It isn't the 90s anymore

Excuse 86 - The announcers/analysts have no clue what they're talking about / are biased (against us)

Excuse 87 - Brent Musburger's open container ticket cost us votes in a poll

Excuse 88 - Huskerboard/social media isn't serious enough nor supportive of the players

Excuse 89 - We never play well on National TV

Excuse 90 - We always play down to the level of competition

Excuse 91 - Lawrence Phillips made our team look like a bunch of thugs

Excuse 92 - Bo never plays Freshman

Excuse 93 - The players won't play for Bo

 

 

 

 

There are more. Tons and tons more. Help me out.

[Creighton Duke]

No good bowl games in the cold

[sd'sker]

our coordinators are terrible, but we would have been national champs without injuries.

[RedSavage]

We're not starting the best players

[hskrfan4life]

Byron Bennett had TOO much time

[zoogs]

Nebraska can't recruit because weather and stuff.

[Ulty]

Nebraska can't recruit because weather and stuff.

and geography, not enough planes, not enough staff...

 

Everyone cheats except us.

[NUpolo8]

I'd rather do things the right way with quality guys and lose a few than be like the SEC

[GSG]

Our fans are old and ruin game day for everyone

[NUpolo8]

Our training table is lacking in the bold flavors dept and the 'Let's don't show their chest beefers enough, you guys.

[kchusker_chris]

Nebraska can't recruit because weather and stuff.

Yes, we likely need a subsection for recruiting...

 

Cold weather

No beaches

Ugly girls (usually in reference to Arizona State commits)

To far from home (or anything actually)

Bo's shaky job security (ties back to it being the administrations fault)

Don't spend enough

Staff needs to be bigger to compete with Alabama

B1G shift means we can't recruit Texas

Regional powers like Missouri/Kansas/KSU are better therefore we can't steal as many from those areas

Nebraska talent is not what it once was

Nebraska HS offenses no longer fit the Huskers scheme which hurts our numbers

We suck at basketball, so there's not a big game for visiting recruits in January

Omaha is the closest major airport, so flights in are a logistical nightmare

We don't cheat (in reference to every commit that goes SEC over NU)

Marrow is a d-bag and stole our recruits.

It's easier to get into XYZ school (KSU - Clinkscales)

[darkhorse85]

We would have won if it wasn't for the X fumbles!

[sd'sker]

there is too much pressure from the fans' unrealistic expectations!

[Ulty]

Top of student section is empty.

 

The blue hairs don't stand up and cheer.

 

The stadium sound system sucks.

[sd'sker]

this is cathartic.