Post your Missouri jokes here

[MoFan]

Last time my Tigers played Mizzou...

 

 

 

 

Congrats on the win. That was 9 years ago.

YOU DO MATH TOO!?!?!?!?

 

Did you have to take off your pants to count that high?

 

Note: I did say "Last time my Tigers played Mizzou." I can't help we don't play yall more.

 

Well we're trying. The first step is to pass the tradition to you guys next year.

 

Probably won't for awhile. There is a movement to quit scheduling patsies.

 

So that movement starts next year then?

 

 

You guys start the tradition next year

[knapplc]

Isn't this a kidding thread?

Or do you want me to bring up Christian Peter?

He was allowed to play too, right?

Now THAT'S funny.....

 

Bring up Christian Peter all you want, dude. Every time you reach up there to the back of the top shelf to try to crack on this team it makes you look weak.

 

Phillips and Christian Peter ended their Husker careers in 1995. 14 years, home boy. If you have to go back 14 years to dig up dirt on your opponent, I think you've officially jumped the shark.

[Husker Runner]

Gary Pinkel goes to Nebraska on a duck hunting trip. He shoots and kills a bird, but by huge coincidence, it falls into Bo Pelini's backyard. As he climbs over the fence to get the bird, Bo steps out of his house asks what he is doing.

 

Pinkel responds, "I shot a duck and it fell in your backyard. I'm just coming over the fence to retrieve it."

 

Bo says, "Well, this is my property, and if you do, you'll be trespassing."

 

The Pickle gets upset and says, "Look, I am the greatest thing that ever happened to Missouri Tiger football. If you don't let me get that duck, I'll get every lawyer in the State of Missouri to sue you and take everything you own, and I'll enjoy doing it in the process!"

 

Bo grins and says, "Gary, you don't know how we settle disputes here in Nebraska. In this state, we settle small disagreements like this with the "Three Kick Rule."

 

Now very agitated, Coach Pinkel asks, "What the hell is the Three Kick Rule?"

 

Bo replies, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my property, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up."

 

Pinkel quickly thinks about the proposed contest and decides he can easily beat Bo at this, so he agrees to abide by the local rule.

 

Bo slowly steps off his back porch and walks up to Coach Pinkel. His first kick is a solid shot right into Pinkel's groin area. The Missouri coach lets out a scream and drops to his knees in pain. After several minutes of agony, he slowly gets back up--just in time for Bo's second kick, a flying ninja leap into his stomach. He doubles over in pain and then drops to all fours, when Bo's third kick comes from behind and sends the Missouri coach sprawling face first into some dog sh*t on the ground.

 

The Missouri coach summons every bit of his will and manages to get to his feet. Wiping his face on his shirt, he says, "OK. Now it's my turn."

 

Bo just smiles and says, "Nah, I give up. You can have the stupid duck. Go Big Red!"

[CENTEXHUSKER]

Good one....

[MoFan]

Gary Pinkel goes to Nebraska on a duck hunting trip. He shoots and kills a bird, but by huge coincidence, it falls into Bo Pelini's backyard. As he climbs over the fence to get the bird, Bo steps out of his house asks what he is doing.

 

Pinkel responds, "I shot a duck and it fell in your backyard. I'm just coming over the fence to retrieve it."

 

Bo says, "Well, this is my property, and if you do, you'll be trespassing."

 

The Pickle gets upset and says, "Look, I am the greatest thing that ever happened to Missouri Tiger football. If you don't let me get that duck, I'll get every lawyer in the State of Missouri to sue you and take everything you own, and I'll enjoy doing it in the process!"

 

Bo grins and says, "Gary, you don't know how we settle disputes here in Nebraska. In this state, we settle small disagreements like this with the "Three Kick Rule."

 

Now very agitated, Coach Pinkel asks, "What the hell is the Three Kick Rule?"

 

Bo replies, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my property, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up."

 

Pinkel quickly thinks about the proposed contest and decides he can easily beat Bo at this, so he agrees to abide by the local rule.

 

Bo slowly steps off his back porch and walks up to Coach Pinkel. His first kick is a solid shot right into Pinkel's groin area. The Missouri coach lets out a scream and drops to his knees in pain. After several minutes of agony, he slowly gets back up--just in time for Bo's second kick, a flying ninja leap into his stomach. He doubles over in pain and then drops to all fours, when Bo's third kick comes from behind and sends the Missouri coach sprawling face first into some dog sh*t on the ground.

 

The Missouri coach summons every bit of his will and manages to get to his feet. Wiping his face on his shirt, he says, "OK. Now it's my turn."

 

Bo just smiles and says, "Nah, I give up. You can have the stupid duck. Go Big Red!"

 

 

Running away from a fight.. just like a 'Husker. j/k

 

Here's to a good game on Oct.8th

[junior4949]

All jokes aside, does anyone whether they be NU or Mizzou fans actually think we needed LP to play in order to win the NC? Obviously, we didn't. Obviously, he shouldn't have been allowed to come back hindsight 20/20. Obviously, TO had bigger intentions when he allowed him to make his NFL debut than winning the NC.

[Enhance]

All jokes aside, does anyone whether they be NU or Mizzou fans actually think we needed LP to play in order to win the NC? Obviously, we didn't. Obviously, he shouldn't have been allowed to come back hindsight 20/20. Obviously, TO had bigger intentions when he allowed him to make his NFL debut than winning the NC.

 

I don't think we needed him, but he had an excellent game. He rushed for well over 100 yards in that game, had a great screen catch in the back field for a touchdown, and made the Florida Gators look like a pop warner team on an early second quarter run for 40 some odd yards.

 

We had plenty of depth at the RB position and enough of it to win, but he was a big part of that game in setting the pace early.

[strigori]

Missouri has a few changes working their way through the state legislature:

 

Bill 2209 - Signs when entering the state on the interstate will be changed to say "Welcome to Missoura, the world's largest trailer park"

 

Bill 1672 - Proposed that the state bird is changed the 'the bird', the middle finger extended.

[In the Deed the Glory]

Will somebody fill me in on the cell phone thing?

[Husker Runner]

Will somebody fill me in on the cell phone thing?

 

STORY HERE

[In the Deed the Glory]

Will somebody fill me in on the cell phone thing?

 

STORY HERE

 

Wow!

[Husker Runner]

Will somebody fill me in on the cell phone thing?

 

STORY HERE

 

Wow!

 

Yep. Missouri manufactures their own jokes. LOL.

[flynlow]

One good turn deserves another.....

 

You know the toothbrush was invented in Nebraska...... If it was anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush.

[I See Red People]

All jokes aside, does anyone whether they be NU or Mizzou fans actually think we needed LP to play in order to win the NC? Obviously, we didn't. Obviously, he shouldn't have been allowed to come back hindsight 20/20. Obviously, TO had bigger intentions when he allowed him to make his NFL debut than winning the NC.

 

Whoa man! LEFT FIELD.

[jjamuss]

One good turn deserves another.....

 

You know the toothbrush was invented in Nebraska...... If it was anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush.

uhu-yuck! which is LOL in mizzerian.