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Post your Missouri jokes here


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First of all, shouldn't there be an apostrophe between the a and the l in ya'll? (see your post where you criticize the use of you"re)

 

second, The Clemson Tigers shouldn't be touching the Mizzou Tigers fingers thus leaving the boogers on our players hands. lol

1. Actually it's supposed to be between the y & a. Good attempt though. Also, I stated nothing about the placement of the quotations or apostrophes, but was rather saying that it was incorrect use of the word you're...should have been your. BIG DIFFERENCE.

 

2. I think we all know where the boogers come from: www.youtube.com/watch?v=kEW8_KVhDFE

:rollin:rollin:rollin:rollin

 

Way to stick it to those MU fans. :nutz

 

And as a response to some other post, the fact that we treat Tom Osborne as an God is no joke. If you had a National Championship, you would understand.

 

But, seeing as you don't, it's just something we can't relate to you. :dumdum

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Sorry, but the reality of this guy picking his nose and eating it on national TV is no joke. It's just plain a$$ed sick.

....and equally, a football player pulling a co-ed down the steps by her hair after breaking in to her apartment and then being allowed to play.

A travesty I tell you..... A travesty!

 

Right, but it's pathetic that this dozen-year-old issue is all you have. Get some new material already.

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Sorry, but the reality of this guy picking his nose and eating it on national TV is no joke. It's just plain a$$ed sick.

....and equally, a football player pulling a co-ed down the steps by her hair after breaking in to her apartment and then being allowed to play.

A travesty I tell you..... A travesty!

 

Right, but it's pathetic that this dozen-year-old issue is all you have. Get some new material already.

 

:yeah

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what, no Nebraska jokes?

 

What does a 12 year old Nebraska girl say when she loses her virginity?

 

"Get off, Daddy! You're crushing my smokes!"

 

That's disgusting.

 

 

I know a guy from Missouri that once asked me, "Do you know what the best thing is about having sex with twenty seven year-olds?"

 

I said, "No."

 

He replied, "There's twenty of em'."

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Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel found Him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, "Where have you been? God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look,Michael, look what I've made."

 

Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"

 

"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put Life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."

 

"Balance?", inquired Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing to different parts of earth, "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people," God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice,"

 

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a city and said, "What's that one?"

 

"Ah," said God. "That's Columbia, Missouri, the most glorious place on earth. It is beautiful. The people from Columbia are going to be modest, intelligent, and humorous and they are going to be found traveling the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace."

 

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "what about balance, God?

 

God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the idiots I'm putting in Lincoln, Nebraksa."

 

:clap:laughpound

 

:lol: at the bolded portion!!

 

That's rich.

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Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel found Him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, "Where have you been? God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look,Michael, look what I've made."

 

Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"

 

"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put Life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."

 

"Balance?", inquired Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing to different parts of earth, "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people," God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice,"

 

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a city and said, "What's that one?"

 

"Ah," said God. "That's Columbia, Missouri, the most glorious place on earth. It is beautiful. The people from Columbia are going to be modest, intelligent, and humorous and they are going to be found traveling the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace."

 

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "what about balance, God?

 

God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the idiots I'm putting in Lincoln, Nebraksa."

 

:clap:laughpound

 

:lol: at the bolded portion!!

 

That's rich.

 

i know!!! It describes me PERFECTLY!!! A true Missourian and MU fan. The ever modest, intelligent and humorous Fro Daddy!! :lol:

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Sorry, but the reality of this guy picking his nose and eating it on national TV is no joke. It's just plain a$$ed sick.

....and equally, a football player pulling a co-ed down the steps by her hair after breaking in to her apartment and then being allowed to play.

A travesty I tell you..... A travesty!

 

You're kidding us with this sh#t right? Even the most illogical Missouri fans who can't argue their way out of a paper bag wouldn't even resort to bringing this up in 2009.

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Last time my Tigers played Mizzou...

 

 

 

 

Congrats on the win. That was 9 years ago.

YOU DO MATH TOO!?!?!?!?

 

Did you have to take off your pants to count that high?

 

Note: I did say "Last time my Tigers played Mizzou." I can't help we don't play yall more.

 

 

 

Probably won't for awhile. There is a movement to quit scheduling patsies.

 

So that movement starts next year then?

 

<_<

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Sorry, but the reality of this guy picking his nose and eating it on national TV is no joke. It's just plain a$$ed sick.

....and equally, a football player pulling a co-ed down the steps by her hair after breaking in to her apartment and then being allowed to play.

A travesty I tell you..... A travesty!

 

You're kidding us with this sh#t right? Even the most illogical Missouri fans who can't argue their way out of a paper bag wouldn't even resort to bringing this up in 2009.

 

Isn't this a kidding thread?

Or do you want me to bring up Christian Peter?

He was allowed to play too, right?

Now THAT'S funny.....

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what, no Nebraska jokes?

 

What does a 12 year old Nebraska girl say when she loses her virginity?

 

"Get off, Daddy! You're crushing my smokes!"

 

That's disgusting.

 

 

I know a guy from Missouri that once asked me, "Do you know what the best thing is about having sex with twenty seven year-olds?"

 

I said, "No."

 

He replied, "There's twenty of em'."

 

Classic :lol::lol::lol:

 

Mind if I borrow this one to use on all my Hawkeye friends?

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